Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is observed that now-a-days individuals are living longer than before in many countries. There is debeat between two groups of individuals that aging population creates problems for authories like take caring of them and some believe having more elderly individuals benefits society like experience could help improving society.

To begin, generally having eldery people could benefits society in all ways like there experiences could help the society to be better in healthcare, education, defence, and allence with others countries. Recently the covid-19 issue where almost nearly half the population was exint and to save people from dieing the government have contracted experiences doctors and sciencist to make a anti-dote which could help the human to survive and be safe.Further more the attack on Iran from USA which was serious issue and was nicely tackled by the Iran higher experience officers moreover the relationship between the china and india was done for tech by experience polictans of India. The elderly people benefits more to society due there experiences and long term practice in there fields.

On the other hand, as far as elderly population contribute there experienc to society to grow. There are some draw backs which could effect government like penetions policty and free healthcare which could be costly for long term to the governmet. In Japan the govenment is facing finical critics due to a large number of people are old and to provide them pension and healthcare.

In conclusion, having elderly people could benefits the society more and help the new generation to get experience from there senior and as far the disadvantages it could be counter by the government by right precautions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and state a clear overall view in the conclusion: elderly people benefit society, while the costs of pensions and healthcare are disadvantages that governments can manage. The examples about experienced doctors and officials are relevant, and Japan illustrates the financial pressure. However, the advantages are asserted more than explained: the references to healthcare, education, defence and international relations do not show clearly how older people’s experience benefits society as a whole. The disadvantages are also limited to government costs, with little discussion of their wider effects. Develop fewer examples in more detail and explain why the benefits outweigh the costs to make your position more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “To begin,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, progression within the main advantage paragraph is uneven: several examples are introduced in quick succession, and the links between them and the central claim are not always clear. Some references, such as “there experiences” and “which could help,” make it difficult to identify exactly who or what is being discussed. Use clearer topic sentences, group related examples, and make pronoun references explicit. This would make the overall organisation more coherent and reduce the mechanical feel of the linking phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “aging population,” “pensions,” “healthcare,” “experience,” and “long-term practice.” These choices allow the reader to follow the main argument. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts difficult to understand, such as “contracted experiences doctors,” “make a anti-dote,” and “financial critics.” Spelling errors, including “debeat,” “exint,” and “polictans,” also reduce clarity. Aim to use precise, familiar expressions rather than forcing complex wording: for example, describe governments as “hiring experienced doctors” and Japan as facing “financial pressure.” Proofreading spelling and checking collocations would make your meaning more reliable.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer structures, including “as far as elderly population contribute there experienc to society to grow.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction frequently make the reader work to understand the point. For example, “having eldery people could benefits society” has an incorrect verb form, while “the government have contracted” has a subject–verb agreement problem. The opening sentence also combines several ideas without a clear grammatical structure. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then connect them with clauses using “because,” “although,” or “which.” Check agreement and verb forms carefully, and use full stops to separate complete ideas.

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