Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In contemporary era, individuals are living more than before in numerous countries. Several individuals claim an older population are the causes of many issues for administrations. Rest of people believe that it is beneficial if society has more aging people. From my perspective, the advantages of their presence outweigh the disadvantages.

First of all, I would like to talk about the advantages of having aging populations. I strongly believe that older people like our grandparents are a great asset for us. Especially, if i talk about myself, I feel very glad with my grandparents. Moreover, we can take advises from them. They can help us to live a cheerful life. My grandparents always gives me good advises. Moreover, these advises become very beneficial to me. Actually, they had live a long period of time. Consequently, they have more experience to live a better life. Therefore, we can also took numerous advantages from them.

On the other hand, people who think older population creates challenges for governments, they make think so because of their poverty. Shortage of food in several countries due to their poverty may also lead people to think them a burden on a society. Moreover, we can't also say that all aging population are genius and they are benefits for us. The main cause is that folish individuals also get older. Consequently, we should not listen to everyone. Other of their disadvantage according to some people is that at this age, they can't do any work so they are useless.

Overall, after comparing the pros and cons of their presence in our society, I would say that advantages of having aging population are more than disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages, and you include relevant points about older people sharing experience and the demands they may place on governments. However, the response only partly develops the question. The benefits paragraph focuses mainly on your personal relationship with your grandparents, rather than explaining broader social advantages, while the disadvantages are presented largely as other people’s opinions. The claim that older people may be “useless” because they cannot work is not examined or balanced with examples such as pension or healthcare costs. To strengthen the response, explain how each point affects society and compare its importance, using specific examples to support your position throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a concluding position. Signposting such as “First of all,” “On the other hand,” and “Overall” helps readers follow the broad direction. However, progression within paragraphs is limited, and several ideas repeat rather than build on one another. For example, the points about taking advice from grandparents, their experience, and living a better life could be organised into one developed explanation. Some links are also awkward or unclear, particularly the transition from poverty and food shortages to whether older people are “genius.” Use clearer topic sentences, group related ideas, and make each paragraph develop a distinct line of reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “asset,” “experience,” “shortage of food,” and “burden on a society.” However, the range is limited and several expressions are repetitive or imprecise, which sometimes makes the argument difficult to follow. “Advises” is used where the noun “advice” is needed, and “older population” is repeated instead of using more natural alternatives such as “older people” or “the elderly.” There are also spelling and word-choice errors, including “folish” and “genius” where the intended meaning is unclear. Build a wider set of accurate terms for demographic and economic effects, and check collocations and word forms when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple statements and longer sentences, using connectors such as “Moreover,” “Consequently,” and “Therefore.” However, the range of structures remains limited, and frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, and sentence construction sometimes make meaning harder to follow. Examples include “an older population are,” “My grandparents always gives,” “they had live,” and “we can also took.” The sentence beginning “people who think older population creates challenges for governments” is also structurally unclear. Practise matching subjects and verbs, choosing the correct form after modal verbs, and using consistent past and present forms. More accurate control of these patterns would make your ideas easier to understand.

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