Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this era many countries face the problem of over population and some people think they cause many difficulties in future but on contrast some say they are beneficial. I think the elderly people also have some benefits but there negatives are much more than there positives.

To begin with, as the population of countries increased rapidly they also face many problems like Pakistan, India, Bangladesh and china which are the over populated countries face many different problems. For example, some cities of Pakistan are on the top of world most populated cities. Secondly, the over aged people are not able to do something they just stay at home and live their life with family and governments have some relief for these people like in some countries governments make places for old people. Furthermore, these people also create other problems for other people because some people just busy in caring of their elders because they are sick and they need a lot of care.

On the other hand, some people think it is very important that the children are grow up under the eye of their grand parents. Some times the parents are busy in their job or in other works then the grand parents are important in home and around the children. Moreover, in society some important decisions are just taken by older ones.

To conclude, I think so the the disadvantages of old people out weight the merits and they make many problems for government so government should take an action to solve this problem.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, and you include relevant points about family care and older people’s role in decisions. However, the response only partly addresses the question because much of the first body paragraph discusses overpopulation in general, rather than the specific effects of an ageing population. The claim that older people “are not able to do something” is also too broad and is not supported with a clear example. The benefits are mentioned briefly but not weighed against the disadvantages in enough detail. To strengthen the response, focus each main point on ageing, explain its effects on governments or society, and support it with a specific example or reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Your response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand” and “To conclude” help show the intended structure. However, progression between ideas is limited: the discussion moves from overpopulation to older people’s care needs without clearly explaining the connection. Several points are listed rather than developed, and the second body paragraph is much shorter than the first. Some linking phrases are also used mechanically, while references such as “they” and “these people” can be unclear. Organise the essay around distinct disadvantages and advantages of an ageing population, then use explanation and examples to connect each point to your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a basic range of topic-related vocabulary, including “elderly people,” “grand parents,” “caring” and “government,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, vocabulary is repetitive and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear. For example, “over aged people” is not a natural way to describe older adults, and “on the top of world most populated cities” does not express the intended idea clearly. There are also spelling and word-form errors, including “there” for “their,” “out weight” and “grand parents.” Build a more precise set of expressions for ageing, pensions, healthcare and family support, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “because” and “when,” but the range is limited and complex sentences are often faulty. Errors occur frequently in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction. For instance, “the children are grow up” should be “children grow up,” while “as the population of countries increased rapidly they also face” shifts tense and has an unclear subject. The opening sentence also joins several ideas without clear punctuation, and “I think so the the disadvantages” has an incorrect construction and repeated article. These errors can make the reader pause, although the general meaning is usually recoverable. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check each sentence’s subject and verb.

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