Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent times, medical advancement have enabled people to live longer than ever before. while some argued that this aging population makes more problem for governments. However, others believe that there are several advantages if society have more elderly people. But from my perspective, I should be neutral because there are multiple benefits in the society with elderly people.

First and foremost, the elderly citizen plays a crucial role in maintaining moral values as well as traditional manners in the younger generation. Secondly, the older citizen have more experience from there life also, they share with their children by giving them a good advice. For instance, my elders always advice me to serve humanity, all human belong to almighty Allah so that guide me in all aspect of life.

On the other hand, the older people have advantages but same-time they have disadvantages. However, the population of older people increases although, the numbers of young men decreases then labor work drastically decreases. Furthermore, the tax revenue also affected by increases in the older population. For example, In Japan most of the older people are working in that country though, there are no sufficient numbers in labor in Japan. Second Drawback of older people that, Government have to spend most of the budget in pension funds as well as in the social security. Consequently, it causes in countries economy which is very difficult for the state to maintain the economy.

In conclusion, having more older people creates big economic and healthcare problems for governments, the great moral values and life experience they share with the younger generation are much more important.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and give a relevant personal example about the values and advice older relatives pass on. The discussion of reduced labour supply and increased pension spending also identifies plausible government challenges. However, the task asks how far the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and your position is not consistently clear: you say you “should be neutral,” but the conclusion claims the benefits “are much more important.” This makes the extent of your judgement difficult to follow. Several points are asserted rather than explained, particularly the claim about tax revenue and the Japan example. State your position clearly in the introduction and develop each main reason with a clearer explanation or specific supporting example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow the broad comparison. You also use signposts such as “First and foremost,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion.” However, some links are mechanical or confusing: “However” appears repeatedly, and “although” in “the population of older people increases although, the numbers of young men decreases” does not express the intended relationship clearly. The benefits and drawbacks are separated, but the conclusion does not resolve the conflicting position in the introduction. Use fewer, more precise linking expressions and make the relationship between each claim and its explanation explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “moral values,” “traditional manners,” “labor,” “tax revenue,” “pension funds,” and “social security.” These choices show an attempt to discuss both social and economic effects. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes ideas less clear. For example, “makes more problem” and “causes in countries economy” do not express the intended meaning naturally, while “good advice” is more suitable than “a good advice.” There are also spelling and form errors, such as “there life” and “advice me.” Build a wider set of accurate topic phrases and check whether nouns are countable and whether verbs naturally combine with the words around them.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional-style comparison and clauses introduced by “although” and “as well as.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to process. Examples include “medical advancement have enabled,” “society have more elderly people,” and “the older citizen have,” where subject–verb agreement is incorrect. The sentence beginning “the population of older people increases” also has a faulty clause structure, and punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, as in “while” after a full stop and “Second Drawback.” Practise accurate agreement, articles, and clause construction first, then use complex sentences only when you can connect their clauses clearly.

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