Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

A large elderly population in any country is detremental to its economy, especially if the population of elderly people exceeds population of younger generations. I don't believe there are many advantages of having large elderly population; if there are some, they do not outweigh the disadvantages under any circumstances.

Among many disadvantages of having an older population is slower economic growth of a country. A country's economy is run by younger generations, and elder generations do not contribute much to the work force. Most elderly people are also part of retirement plans that are funded through taxes paid by younger people. Higher elder population means larger funds required for retirement plans; which means higher taxes to be paid by young people, leading to less savings for their own future. Many young people choose to be childless if they aren't able to save for their future. Japan is the primary example of the results of having a higher older generation. Japan's growth rate slowed down, young people chose to not have children and population started collapsing.

There are a few advantages of having a large elder generation; an economy designed around elder generation would be convenient and easy; bus stops and train stations would have clear markings, proper infrastructure for movement of elderly; and buffer times for arrival and departure times. This would make lives of younger and physically challenged people easy as well.

Advantages of large elder generation are underwhelmed by the problems it creates. High older population can force government make day to day life easier and convenient for people, but can also slow down economy, put higher burden on younger generation and accelerate population decline.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the opening: you argue that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, and the conclusion restates this view. You address both sides, giving economic pressure, retirement funding and population decline as disadvantages, and more accessible public transport as a benefit. However, the advantages are developed much less fully than the disadvantages, and the claim that an older population causes Japan’s slower growth and falling birth rate is asserted rather than explained or supported. The discussion also treats older people mainly as a cost, without considering possible contributions such as continued work, caregiving or sharing expertise. Develop the benefit side and qualify broad claims with clearer reasoning or examples to make the response more balanced and convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, the second paragraph develops disadvantages, the third presents an advantage, and the final paragraph summarises your position. Ideas generally progress logically, and links such as “Among many disadvantages” and “There are a few advantages” help signal the direction of the discussion. This coherent arrangement is a strength. Some connections are less smooth, however: the move from retirement costs to young people choosing not to have children, and then to Japan, needs a clearer explanation of cause and effect. The semicolon in “retirement plans; which means” also interrupts the sentence’s flow. Use more precise transitions and make the relationship between each example and claim explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “economic growth,” “retirement plans,” “taxes,” “population decline” and “infrastructure.” These terms make the main argument clear, and phrases such as “physically challenged people” show an attempt to use more specific language. There are, however, some inaccurate or awkward choices that limit precision: “elder generation” is repeated where “older population” or “older people” would be more natural, and “advantages … are underwhelmed by the problems” does not express the intended comparison idiomatically. “Detrimental” is misspelled, and “work force” is usually written as one word. Aim for accurate collocations and vary repeated references to elderly people while keeping the wording natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional phrasing (“if the population … exceeds…”) and a cause-and-effect sequence in the discussion of taxes and savings. Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, but some grammatical and punctuation errors remain. For example, “exceeds population of younger generations” needs a determiner (“the population”), and “can force government make” needs both an article and an infinitive marker (“can force the government to make”). In “Higher elder population means larger funds required,” the noun phrases need articles or clearer structure. The semicolon before “which means” is also incorrect because the following clause cannot stand independently. Check articles, verb patterns and sentence boundaries during revision.

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