Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, in many countries people live longer than before. So, the number of older people is increasing. Some people think it is a good factor but I think its disadvantages outweight the advantages.

On the one hand, an aging population does offer certain benefits. Firstly, older people have a wealth of experience and knowledge. They can be very helpful in childcare at homes. For instance, if the parents of the children have to go for a job, the grandparents can take care of their children at homes. They teach the culture and traditional of the country with their experience. Secondly, older people also plays a vital role in the economy of the country. Because after they retire from their job they do some part-time job like volunteering. It can be beneficial for their children as well as for the society.

On the second hand, there are also some drawbacks of increasing older people in some countries. Firstly, the government has to do many things for these people. For example, the government have to spend more money in hospitals for their treatment and they have to give a large amount to the older people as pension. Authorities have to put some extra rules for aging people specially in public places. The young people of the country have to spend extra time and extra money on the older people. This can lead to economic burden and It can effect their job career.

To conclude, old people have extra knowledge and experience in every aspect of life. With that they can teach their youngsters

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You present a clear overall view that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, and you address both sides with relevant points: grandparents can help with childcare and pass on cultural knowledge, while healthcare and pension costs can burden governments. However, the position is not fully sustained in the conclusion, which only restates benefits and ends without clearly reaffirming your judgement. Several points also need fuller explanation: for example, the claim that older people contribute through part-time work or volunteering is not developed, and the effects on younger people’s careers are asserted rather than illustrated. Develop each main idea with a clearer explanation or a specific example, and make the final paragraph directly answer how far the disadvantages outweigh the benefits.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a concluding paragraph. Sequencing within the body is generally understandable, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “To conclude” help readers follow the discussion. However, progression is weakened by mechanical linking and some unclear connections. “On the second hand” is an inaccurate transition, while “It can be beneficial for their children as well as for the society” does not clearly explain how volunteering benefits children. The conclusion is also incomplete, so the essay does not reach a clear final resolution. Use more precise transitions, connect each example explicitly to its point, and ensure the conclusion summarises both sides and your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “wealth of experience,” “childcare,” “pension,” and “economic burden.” There are also attempts at less basic expressions, such as “plays a vital role” and “traditional,” although some choices are inaccurate or repetitive. Phrases such as “do some part-time job like volunteering” and “put some extra rules” are not natural in this context, and “older people” is repeated frequently. Spelling errors in “outweight” and “effect” (where the intended meaning is a verb) also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise range for discussing public spending and social contributions, and check collocations and word forms when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if the parents … have to go for a job, the grandparents can take care of their children.” The main meaning is usually understandable, but errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction are frequent enough to make some sentences awkward. For example, “older people also plays” should use a plural verb, and “the government have to spend” has a subject–verb agreement problem. The sentence beginning “Because after they retire” is an incomplete construction, while “the parents of the children” is unnecessarily awkward grammatically. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and complete sentence boundaries, and vary sentence patterns while keeping clauses clear.

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