Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Longer life ecpectacy is the greatest achivement of humanity yet it rises concern about the burden on governments.From my prospective it have many advantages for the humanity while it have various disadvantages that creates challenges for government.It have more advantages than disadvantage from my view side.

On the one hand an aging population cause various problems.firstly goverment spend more money in pansion and hospitals because oid people ned more health care and medical treatements.secondly there are several young people who pay taxes and work so the economy become weaker.such as in japan there are many elderly people and the goverment faces serious financial pressure.

on the other hand there are several benefits of having more elderly people.Firstly they have lot of experience and knowledge so they can help young people at work or given them advice.Many old people also do volunteer work which helps the communitySecondly grand parents look frequently after their grandchildren while the parents are not home hoeever may be when they go for a job.In my country this is verycommon on things like travel and health products which create jobs.

Moreover goverments can reduce the problems if they make good plans.Such as instance they can increase the retirement age and encourage healty or brtter life style which ca ease the people livings so older people stay active and work longer.

In conclusion although an aging population puts pressure on the goverment however higher spending on pansion and healthcare im my openion advantages are more important .Older people share there experience at work help their families by looking after children and support the economy by spending money on different products.Moreover if goverment make good plans and incraesing retiremant age and encourage healty lifestyles they can reduce most of the problems.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and state a clear view: “It have more advantages than disadvantage.” Relevant benefits include older people sharing experience, volunteering, caring for grandchildren and spending on products; you also recognise pressure on pensions, healthcare and the workforce. This covers the task, but some points are asserted rather than explained. For example, the claim that elderly people’s spending “create jobs” is not clearly connected to a specific example, and the Japan reference is brief. Your conclusion repeats your position, though its opening contrast is confusing. To strengthen the response, explain how each main benefit or drawback affects society and make the comparison between them more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on disadvantages, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph about government planning and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “Moreover” helps readers follow the main stages. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, with repeated “Firstly” and “Moreover,” and some links between ideas are unclear. The sentence about travel and health products appears disconnected from the point about grandparents, while “which create jobs” has an unclear reference. Punctuation and paragraph boundaries also make parts difficult to follow. Use clearer transitions between distinct ideas and ensure each pronoun or linking phrase refers unambiguously to the point before it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “aging population,” “financial pressure,” “retirement age,” “health care,” and “volunteer work.” These choices help communicate the main ideas. However, spelling errors and inaccurate word forms are noticeable, as in “ecpectacy,” “achivement,” “pansion,” and “goverment.” Some combinations are also unnatural or unclear, such as “from my view side,” “ease the people livings,” and “spend money on different products.” The range is sufficient to discuss the topic, but repeated basic wording and imprecise collocations limit clarity and flexibility. Build a bank of accurate phrases for discussing public spending, workforce participation and intergenerational support, and proofread spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex forms, including a contrast with “while,” a reason clause with “because,” and a conditional idea about government planning. The main message is generally understandable, but some errors in sentence structure, agreement, verb forms and punctuation remain. For example, “it have many advantages” needs subject–verb agreement, and “an aging population cause” also has an agreement error. The conclusion’s “although … however” construction is not formed correctly, and “if government make good plans” needs a plural or article-supported subject and an appropriate verb form. Practise accurate sentence patterns for comparisons, conditionals and contrast, then check each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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