Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In today's fast-changing world, elderly people has become an important part of our lives. It is widely discussed because of its influence on individuals and society. In my opinion, aging population play a vital role in maintaining society and governments through their valuable experience. I strongly believe that this topic deserves our attention because it has several important effects on our daily lives.

To begin with, one of the main reasons is that aging population have valuable experience which can creates plenty of benefits for our society. This is mainly because when we are working with seniors, then we also gain experience and learn a lot of new ideas for work. As a result, it can make significant difference in people's lives. For example, most of leaders of union concil or president of countries are elderly people because they have knowledge how to do work and how manage our society. This example clearly demonstrates how elderly people are more important than younger population. Therefore, it is resonable to say that this factor plays an important role.

Furthermore, another essential point to consider is that older people can strengthen family relations through emotional support. In addition to this, older people have knowledge how to create family and strong family relations. This can lead to several positive outcomes for individuals and society. On the other hand, due to older people jobs are reduce for younger population. For this reason, it is essential to retire the older staff from companies and give chance to younger population for manage the companies. If handled properl

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear general preference for the benefits of older people, especially their experience and contribution to family relationships. However, the response only partially addresses the question of whether these advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The disadvantages are introduced through the claim that older workers reduce job opportunities for younger people, but this point is not explained or weighed against the benefits. The supporting examples are also broad: the reference to union leaders and presidents does not show how an aging population benefits society overall. Develop both sides with specific reasoning, then state explicitly why one side is more significant. The final sentence is incomplete, leaving the argument without a conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction followed by paragraphs on experience and family support, and you use signposts such as “To begin with” and “Furthermore.” These help readers identify the main points. However, progression is limited: the second body paragraph shifts abruptly from family benefits to employment competition, without explaining the connection or comparing the two ideas. Several linking phrases, including “This can lead to several positive outcomes” and “This example clearly demonstrates,” are general rather than showing a precise relationship between claims and evidence. The ending is cut off, so the essay lacks a completed conclusion. Organise each paragraph around one developed point and use transitions to make the comparison and final judgement clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “valuable experience,” “emotional support,” and “family relations,” and the meaning is generally understandable. There is also an attempt to use more formal expressions such as “significant difference” and “positive outcomes.” However, vocabulary is often repetitive, particularly “important,” “society,” and “older people,” and some word combinations or forms are inaccurate: “aging population have,” “leaders of union concil,” and “jobs are reduce.” Spelling errors such as “resonable” and “concil” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise terms for the effects being discussed, and check spelling and collocations. For example, describe employment effects as competition for jobs rather than relying on a vague claim that jobs are reduced.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, using clauses with “because,” “when,” and “if.” Some sentences communicate a clear idea, such as “This can lead to several positive outcomes for individuals and society.” However, errors are frequent, and complex structures are often faulty. Examples include “elderly people has become,” “aging population play,” and “which can creates,” where subject–verb agreement or verb forms are incorrect. The sentence beginning “For this reason” also has faulty construction, and the final “If handled properl” is incomplete. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise accurate agreement, infinitive patterns, and complete conditional sentences, then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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