Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many countries, people are now living longer than even before. Some people argued that aging population creates an problems for governments. However, many people think that there are more benefits to the society if they have more elderly people. This essay will discuss the extent of advantages and the drawbacks of it.

To beging with, having old people in our country can give knowledge and can teach us life lessons. They can share their experiences so many people can take right decisions in life. Many senior citizens can guide and advise younger generation about education, careers, relationships, and handling the difficult phases. Older family members can look after their grandchildren while parents are working, which can reduce childcare expenses.The aging population can teach about cultures, family traditons, and festivals. they also teaches good habits and bad habits by which children has an good impact. For exmaple, retired teachers can volunteer at local schools and help children improve their education.

On the other hand, there are many drawbacks of aging people, the older individuals require better healthcare they need more medical treatments and financial support after retirement which increases government expenditure. In more people retire and fewer young people enter the workforce, businesses and may struggle to find enough employees. A smaller workforce can make it difficult for companies to fill vacancies, potentially reducing productivity and economic growth. For instance, adults may need to reduce their working hours to care for elderly parents, which can lower their income and increase stress.

To conclude, ana ging population benefits society through experience and guidance.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question with relevant points: older people can pass on experience and help with childcare, while healthcare costs and a smaller workforce are presented as disadvantages. However, the task asks how far the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and your position is not fully established. The introduction says the essay will discuss both sides, while the conclusion only states that an aging population benefits society; it does not clearly weigh the benefits against the costs. Several ideas also need fuller explanation, particularly how cultural knowledge benefits society and how the economic drawbacks compare with the advantages. A clearer judgement, supported consistently with developed examples, would make the response more complete. The length requirement is met; nine words copied from the task prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure, with an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph on drawbacks, and a conclusion. The contrast marker “On the other hand” helps signal the shift between the two sides, and examples generally follow the points they illustrate. However, the progression within the benefits paragraph is somewhat list-like, moving from life lessons to childcare and traditions without clearly linking or prioritising these ideas. The conclusion is very brief and does not bring the comparison together. Some referencing is also unclear, as in “they also teaches,” where the reader must infer the intended subject. Develop a more deliberate sequence within each paragraph and use the conclusion to summarise your overall comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “senior citizens,” “government expenditure,” “workforce,” “productivity,” and “economic growth.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and the response includes some useful phrases such as “reduce childcare expenses.” However, the range is uneven and several expressions are imprecise or awkward, including “an aging population creates an problems,” “benefits to the society,” and “teach about cultures.” Spelling errors such as “traditons,” “exmaple,” and “beging,” along with the malformed “ana ging,” are noticeable and reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise collocations and proofread carefully; this would make your vocabulary more effective without needing unnecessarily complex words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “Older family members can look after their grandchildren while parents are working” and a conditional-style result in “which can lower their income and increase stress.” Most of the main ideas remain understandable. However, some errors in agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries are evident: “they also teaches,” “children has an good impact,” and “the older individuals require better healthcare they need more medical treatments” all need grammatical correction. The introduction also contains “an problems,” and the final sentence has a disrupted form. Work on subject–verb agreement, article use, and separating or joining clauses accurately. More consistent control of these patterns would strengthen the range you are already attempting.

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