Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some nations, the population of old citizens is increasing rapidly than past. Few believe that the old population make hurdles for the policy makers. Remainings argue that there are many advantages if more adults are present in population. The duty of taking care of adults and making friendly polices to help them fells like a hurdle for governments, moreover more money is spend to in their allowances and pensions. But, the aged people have much more experience of life as they survive many hurdles and situations, we can get many useful advices from them.

The ratio of aged citizens is gettong increased. The responsibilities including their accomodations and pay is getting more tough for the policy makers. Most of the old people use to live in old-aged home where they required proper care and allowances, more seats are reserved for their help. Proper trained staff is necessary to feel them secured. Moreover, a lot of money is used to pay them pensions even they are not able to work. However, the spending on aged people instead of the youth is the main thing that may feel hurdle to government. Increase in numbers of aged in hospitals also require more medical services for them and many expensive medicines are used to treat them.

Olders are not working but their experience in every field is very useful fot the youngsters. As, aged citizens spend much time in all proffesions, they know much more than the new professionals. Youngster can get many useful advices from them. Moreover, they can help to sort many of the problems faced by youngsters as they knew much more about all the situations. For instance, a worker of a company works hard to sort an issue but failed, then he may talk to the retired workers to get more information and useful keys to solve it. The healthy treatment for aged is a responsibility of governments and society as they work for their whole life and now requires response.

In conclusion, the presence of aged group in society increased the work load on society but theg give much more in result. Their experience is very useful in all professions.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: government costs and care needs are disadvantages, while older people’s experience is presented as a benefit. The examples about pensions, medical services and retired workers advising younger colleagues are relevant. However, the comparison of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages is not fully developed. The benefits section focuses mainly on experience, and the conclusion says older people “give much more in result” without explaining why this outweighs the financial and healthcare pressures described earlier. Develop the weighing more explicitly—for example, explain how knowledge transfer benefits workplaces or communities and why this is significant relative to public costs. This would make your position more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow the main direction of the argument. Some progression is clear within the paragraphs, particularly from care and pension costs to healthcare demands. However, connections between ideas can be mechanical or unclear: “Moreover” is used repeatedly, and “However” does not clearly signal the relationship between the points around it. The first paragraph also combines both sides before the body develops them. Use clearer topic sentences and vary linking methods, such as explaining cause and consequence directly. Ensure references are precise; for example, “they” in “they work for their whole life” could refer to older people, but the sentence is awkwardly connected to the preceding point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “policy makers,” “allowances,” “pensions,” “medical services” and “professionals.” There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “knowledge” implied through “experience” and “reserved” seats. However, the range is limited by repeated use of “aged,” “old” and “useful,” and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make the writing less natural. Examples include “old citizens,” “friendly polices,” “useful keys” and “the old population make hurdles.” Spelling errors such as “accomodations,” “proffesions” and “fot” are also noticeable. Build a more precise set of topic phrases and check spelling and collocations so your meaning is consistently easy to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “as,” “where” and “if,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, control is uneven, especially in longer sentences. For example, “The ratio of aged citizens is gettong increased” has an incorrect verb construction, while “Increase in numbers of aged in hospitals also require” has problems with article use and subject–verb agreement. The sentence beginning “For instance, a worker…” shifts awkwardly between tenses and ends with an unclear structure. There are also errors in plural forms and sentence boundaries. Practise forming accurate present-tense statements and checking agreement, articles and verb patterns; then divide long sentences where several ideas are joined together.

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