Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadys, an aging population is a widely debated issue. Some people believe that it has some positive advantages, while others argue that it also has some negative effects. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population.

On the one hand, supporting first view offers several advantages and makes people's lives much easier. The main reason is that elder people are mature enough and they may have decades of experience. They also familiar with challanges and difficulties. For example, If a person spend plenty of time with old individuals, he may become more responsible and mature due to the effects of his company. In contrast, if someone lives with immature people and spend time with them, It's badly affects his development and makes him idle. As a result, spending time with elder individuals not only makes individuals responsible but also makes them mature in diffrent areas of life.

On the other hand, others argue that an aging population creates problems for government. The another reason is that, especially in old ages people become stubborn they don't like to take others' advice. They may quarrel with everybody especially in banks at the time of getting pension. For instance, a recent research reveal that, 70% of violence cases come from an old generation on common matters. Therefore, often old generations creates problems for government. In my opinion, I largly agree with first view, because old people play a pivotal role in facing challanges and experiencing hurdles.

To sum up, although both views have advantages and disadvantages. But it's advantages outweigh its disadvantages. Since it creates problems for authorities but it benefits the individuals and society as a whole.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You introduce both sides and state a preference for the benefits, so the response is relevant to the question. However, the task asks how far the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and this comparison is only partly addressed: the conclusion asserts that benefits outweigh costs without explaining their relative importance. The advantages paragraph focuses mainly on how contact with older people may make others mature, rather than wider social benefits such as experience in the workplace or family support. The disadvantages paragraph relies on claims about stubbornness and pension-related quarrels, which are not convincingly connected to government-level pressures such as healthcare or pension costs. Develop fewer, more relevant points and support them with clear reasoning or credible examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs presenting opposing views, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “To sum up” helps readers follow the basic structure. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the first moves from older people’s experience to the effect of company on an individual, while the second shifts from stubbornness to alleged violence and government problems without clearly connecting these ideas. Some linking phrases are also mechanical or confusing, particularly “In contrast” and “Therefore.” The conclusion repeats the two-sided structure rather than drawing together the argument. Organise each paragraph around one central claim and make the links between claim, explanation, and example explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “aging population,” “pivotal role,” “experience,” and “government,” and you attempt more formal expressions. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which makes parts of the argument less clear. Examples include “supporting first view,” “elder people,” “old ages,” and “It's badly affects his development.” Spelling errors such as “challanges,” “diffrent,” and “largly” are noticeable, while repeated use of “old” and “problems” limits precision. Choose vocabulary that describes the actual social issue more accurately—for example, pension costs, healthcare demand, or older adults’ experience—and check spelling and natural word combinations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a conditional structure (“if someone lives with immature people”) and a concluding clause beginning “although.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, and verb forms occur often enough to affect clarity. For example, “They also familiar with challenges” needs a verb, while “a recent research reveal” has an article and subject–verb agreement problem. In “It's badly affects his development,” the contraction is incorrectly used with a main verb. The final sentence, “although both views have advantages and disadvantages. But…,” is also an incomplete construction followed by a fragment. Practise complete clause structures, agreement, and combining contrast clauses into correctly punctuated sentences.

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