Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The proponets believes that the elderly people are causing problems for the governments, however critics contend that increase in elderly population is beneficial for the society. In my view, old people plays a vital role in nuturing the society. They also are paramount for the socio-economic development of the country.
To begin with, the above 60 population provides domestic support to the family. Grandparents provide free, reliaable child care, allowing youger parents to remain fully employed without the high day care cost. In addition to that, retirees also become the part of communities volunteering programs providing their services for civic organization, charitie, and community services. Furthermore, older citizens are the source of wisdom and mentorship. They offer invaluable life experience, institutional knowledge and cultural continuity to the young people. Along with that, wealthy elderly also offer growth in consumer market by increasing economy in tourism and wellness sectors.
However, there are few disadvantages as well but by taking significant measures governments can combat with it.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You present a relevant position: elderly people can benefit society through family support, volunteering, mentorship and spending in tourism and wellness. These examples show an understanding of the advantages side of the question. However, the task asks you to weigh advantages against disadvantages, and the disadvantages receive only one brief sentence: “there are few disadvantages,” with no examples or explanation. Your conclusion about whether the advantages outweigh them is therefore not established clearly. The response also does not meet the stated 250-word minimum, which limits how fully you can develop your reasoning. To improve, explain at least one significant pressure, such as pension or healthcare costs, compare it directly with your benefits, and state your judgement explicitly.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph developing benefits, and a short contrastive ending. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “In addition to that,” and “Furthermore” help signal the progression of supporting points. However, the paragraph is largely a list of benefits, and the final “However” introduces a counterargument that is not developed, so the overall argument does not progress to a balanced comparison. Some linking is mechanical, and the relationship between the claim that older people support socio-economic development and the examples that follow could be made clearer. Use separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, then add a conclusion that weighs them and answers the question directly.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including “domestic support,” “institutional knowledge,” “cultural continuity,” and “consumer market.” These choices help communicate several distinct benefits and show attempts to use less common language. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, however, such as “nuturing the society,” “combat with it,” and “growth in consumer market.” There are also spelling errors, including “proponets,” “reliaable,” “youger,” and “charitie,” which reduce precision. Aim to check spelling carefully and learn common word partnerships. For example, you could describe older people as “contributing to society,” say governments can “address these challenges,” and refer to “growth in the consumer market.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including the opening contrast with “however” and the clause “allowing younger parents to remain fully employed.” Most of the meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors affect accuracy. For example, “old people plays” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “the above 60 population provides” uses an unclear noun phrase and article pattern. The sentence beginning “In addition to that” also has a crowded structure, with the participle “volunteering” not clearly connected to the rest of the phrase. Work on agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries, and revise longer sentences to make each clause’s subject and verb clear. This will help you express your ideas more reliably.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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