Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

People are now living longer than ever before in many countries . Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Ibelieve that the adverndages of an older citizens outweigh the disadvandages .

On the one hand , senoir citizens plays vitals role in the community , they ensure that they have provided proper directions to the young ones . For example they teach them good morals and behaviours such as respect and kindiness whenever they want to to do wrong deeds . In addition to this they are source of experience among among people who are growing in the different field of work around the globe , for instance Doctor who have been working for 20 years in the department of surgery has to teach students the same skills before going for retirement all this enhance health nation with promising future.

On the other hand , there are numerous drwabaks about the old age in the community , it is believed that they prevent young people from growing in terms of career developments; since they work for many years whereas there are many graduates out there waiting for those jobs ending up old without practising what they laerned . Furthermore , when they grow old they dont have energy to work hence they become less productive and they find it difficulty to cope with the growing technology in the modern life.

In conclusion , as far as iam concerned , despite of benefits of having old age iam going to agree with those who believe in this notion because old age provide knowledge for young generation , there are also challanges such as working for many years denying young ones opportunities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and give a position, especially in the introduction and conclusion. Relevant advantages include older people passing on moral guidance and professional experience, while the disadvantages include competition for jobs and reduced ability to adapt to technology. However, the position is not fully consistent: the introduction says the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, but the conclusion says you agree with those who see the problems, then returns to the benefits. The supporting ideas also need clearer explanation. For example, the surgery example mentions teaching students but does not show how this benefit outweighs the employment concerns. State your view consistently and develop each main point with a clear explanation and relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “Furthermore” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several ideas are joined into long, loosely connected sentences. The example about the experienced doctor, for instance, moves from teaching skills to improving the nation without clearly explaining the connection. The conclusion also repeats both sides without resolving the position. Use clearer sentence boundaries, organise each paragraph around one main idea, and make references and transitions more precise rather than relying mainly on formulaic linkers.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “community,” “career developments,” “retirement,” and “productive,” and you attempt phrases such as “promising future.” However, the range is limited and several spelling errors or inaccurate word choices make parts of the response harder to understand, including “adverndages,” “senoir,” “drwabaks,” and “laerned.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “old age provide knowledge” and “source of experience among people.” Aim to learn accurate topic vocabulary and common collocations, and proofread carefully for spelling. More precise expressions for employment, intergenerational knowledge transfer, and adapting to technology would help you explain your ideas more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “whereas” and “since,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors are frequent, and complex sentences are often not controlled successfully. For example, “senior citizens plays” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “they ensure that they have provided proper directions” uses an unclear and unsuitable verb form. The sentence beginning “For example they teach them…” runs into further ideas without clear punctuation, and “when they grow old they dont have energy” needs clearer clause punctuation and grammatical phrasing. Practise agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries. Building accurate shorter sentences before combining them will make your argument easier to follow.

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