Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Aging population become major proportion of many countries in contemporary word. Many people argue that an aging community genrates problems for governments. Other people believe there are several advantages if society has more elderly person. I firmly believe that older people create issues because financial burden and health related issues.

On the one hand, older people face several health related problem such as different kind of diaeases. This community need more attention for other people. When older people is increasing, government has to recurit more doctors for them. For example, a older patient need a doctor montly because they suffer varity of diseases at a time. therefore older people become burden on society.

On the other hand, government should pay pension to older community monlty. this population do not have compacity to work like younger. The older people do not work in any office but get monthly pay that causes issue for government. For example, a person do not go office regularly and get pension, it create financial burden on government

However, older people have very experience and knowing practical life very well. They are helpful for other people. in addition, this population followed customs and values of own culture and encourage younger people to follow them. Apart from that, it create problems such as financial burden on society and health problem that affect other person lifestyle.

In conclusion, whether aging population creates problems for governments or not. It also depend the quantity of population of older people. Older people demonstrates traditional values but also creates problem for government budget system.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address the topic by presenting disadvantages related to healthcare and pension costs, and you also mention benefits such as older people sharing experience and cultural values. However, the response only partially answers the key question of how far the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Your opening says you believe older people create problems, but the conclusion becomes uncertain (“whether…creates problems…or not”) and does not clearly compare the two sides or state which outweighs the other. The supporting ideas are also limited: the examples about monthly doctor visits and pension payments repeat the point rather than explain its wider impact. Develop a consistent position and explain the relative importance of the benefits and costs with specific, relevant support.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers recognise the sections. However, the overall progression is not clear: the first two body paragraphs discuss disadvantages, while the next introduces benefits but then returns to problems, making the comparison difficult to follow. Some links are mechanical or do not show the relationship between ideas clearly, as in “Apart from that, it create problems…” after the point about cultural values. The conclusion also does not resolve the argument established in the introduction. Organise the body into a clear comparison of advantages and disadvantages, and use linking phrases to show contrast and cause rather than simply announce a new point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “aging population,” “financial burden,” “pension,” “customs and values,” and “government budget system.” This gives you a basic range for discussing the issue. However, the vocabulary is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the response difficult to understand, for example “genrates,” “diaeases,” “recurit,” and “compacity.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “older community,” “monthly pay,” and “a person do not go office regularly.” Aim to learn accurate collocations for this topic and check spelling carefully. More precise expressions such as “healthcare costs,” “pension expenditure,” and “contribute their experience” would help you express your ideas more clearly and avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer structures, including a conditional-style point beginning “When older people is increasing” and a relative clause in “a person…that causes financial burden.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences hard to follow. Examples include subject–verb agreement (“older people is”), missing or incorrect articles (“a older patient”), plural forms (“health related problem”), and incomplete or awkward sentence structures (“whether aging population creates problems…or not”). Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, particularly at the start of sentences. Practise building accurate sentences with plural subjects, articles and clear clause connections, then proofread each sentence for agreement and punctuation.

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