Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many nation,individuals lived longer life than even before.Some people argue that increase of population develops many difficulties for the authorities.While other argue that if society has more elderly people,it creates many advantages.Although some might consider it a negative development,I completly consider it a beneficial deveopment.

To began with,one of the prime advantages of aging population is that elderly people has more knowledge and experience of life.The main reason is that oldage people spend their whole life in the average condition without having a substantial amount of money.In their life,they handled a good or bad,both conditions,and also know how to deal with any situation.Thus,this determinant can clearly make this development a positive one.

Conversely, there are numerous disadvantages of aging population.The main reason of increasing population is the high costs for everything.In the country of Canada,the government rule is that providing significant amount of money to every individual at the age of 75.If the population is increased,there is a burden on government to provide income to every people.This is the main demerit of this issue.Hence, this crucial element make this development a negative one.

In conclusion,aging population has many merits and also demerits but a balance approach is needed.The main reason of increasing population is that elderly idividuals has more experienced than youngest generation and also the elderly individuals are kind-hearted and wanted to do a work as a volunteers.But,also there are multiple disadvantages of aging population. The main point is that when population is incresaed,the government responsibility incresed by givind individuals a monthly stipened.Although I believe that advantages of aging population outweigh the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view in the introduction and conclusion: you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. You also address both sides, using older people’s experience as a benefit and government payments as a drawback. However, the response only partially develops the comparison required by the question. The point about experience is broad and does not explain how it benefits society or provide a specific example. The Canada example gives a possible cost, but the claim about payments at age 75 is not explained or connected to the scale of the burden. The conclusion introduces volunteering and kindness, which are not developed in the body. To strengthen the response, explain and support each main idea, then directly weigh the benefits against the costs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. This makes the overall arrangement coherent, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “Conversely,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the shift between sections. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical: several sentences repeat that a point makes the development positive or negative rather than extending the reasoning. The conclusion also adds new claims about volunteering and kindness, so it does not simply draw together the body’s ideas. Some linking phrases, including “The main reason,” are repeated, and references such as “this determinant” are not very clear. Develop each point in a more connected sequence and use the conclusion to summarise the arguments already presented.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “aging population,” “government,” “experience,” and “burden,” and you attempt more formal expressions such as “substantial amount” and “demerit.” However, the range is limited and several choices or word forms are inaccurate or unnatural, which can make the meaning harder to follow. Examples include “oldage people,” “a good or bad, both conditions,” “the government rule,” and “monthly stipened.” Spelling errors such as “completly,” “deveopment,” and “incresaed” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural collocations rather than formal-sounding phrases used incorrectly. For instance, describe older people as having “valuable life experience” and government payments as “pension costs” or “public expenditure.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Although some might consider it a negative development” and conditional structures such as “If the population is increased.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction occur throughout. For example, “elderly people has” should be “elderly people have,” while “one of the prime advantages … is that” is followed by a plural subject and needs careful agreement. The opening also contains sentence-boundary problems, and “While other argue” is not a complete, correctly formed clause in this context. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to understand. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and build complex sentences around one clear main clause.

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