Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In many countries , specially europe and china , the people ages are very high. if the average aging age is high then the retirement period is also long. so it benefit the society . but some people think that elderly people are not perform there duties well. so the elderly people dont benfit the society. so some even thing the corna is also introduced in countries to low the elderly people ratio. in covaid period many old age people dont servive . in contrast , the aging people have many advantages. they look after there grand childerens. they company the people and enjoy the life. in young age every one is busy in doing hardwork for their future. so in old age the fruit harvest time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You make a basic attempt to discuss both sides, mentioning concerns about elderly people’s ability to perform duties and possible benefits such as caring for grandchildren. However, the response only minimally answers the central question: it does not clearly explain to what extent the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and the position shifts between saying ageing benefits society and suggesting older people do not. The claim that COVID was introduced to reduce the elderly population is unsupported and distracts from the argument. The ideas about companionship and family care are relevant but need explanation and examples. The response is also 123 words below the required minimum, leaving too little space to develop a clear position and support it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic sequence of ideas, moving from a possible disadvantage to advantages, and phrases such as “but” and “in contrast” show an attempt to connect points. However, the response is presented as one paragraph, and the progression is difficult to follow: the retirement-period point, the claim about duties, COVID, and the benefits are not linked through a clear argument. Some connections are unclear, particularly “so it benefit the society” and the transition to “so in old age the fruit harvest time.” Organise the response into an introduction, separate body paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion. Use linking phrases to show how each example supports your overall judgement.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of relevant topic words, including “retirement period,” “elderly people,” “society,” and “grandchildren,” so the general subject is recognisable. However, vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts difficult to understand, such as “ages are very high,” “dont benfit,” and “dont servive.” Some expressions are unclear or unnatural, including “the fruit harvest time” and “they company the people.” Aim for more precise phrases for the task, such as “life expectancy,” “provide childcare,” and “contribute to society.” Check spelling carefully and choose wording that communicates each point directly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies mainly on short, simple statements, with a few attempts to connect clauses using “if,” “but,” and “so.” This gives you a starting point for expressing cause and contrast, but the range of sentence structures is very limited and errors occur throughout. For example, “the elderly people are not perform there duties well” has an incorrect verb pattern, while “it benefit the society” has a subject–verb agreement error. “If the average aging age is high then the retirement period is also long” also needs clearer grammatical construction. Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, including lowercase sentence openings and spacing before commas. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled complex sentences.

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