Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

To commence in massive countries , In these days individuals alive longer than ever before, is the population have increasing is not doubt that various difficulties for the administrative authorities. I belive that advantage or drawbacks in diffierent countries.

Overall , in addition these days could not have elder people living in country , on the other hand the very struggle countries alive elder individuals in diffierent places mostly spend lfe at village. This person provide guidence and assit in achieving goals addition to home systematic happiness.

In explain at presant days enough amount to alive ,becuase to various diseases cam damage of human begins , everyone not go long live ,However in recent year people spend happy life becuse to alive elder men like,Granfuther this the crucial in component in men life, to assit in massive issues and teach other obscule.

On the hand the government provide better facilities when control the diseases and move to save life , is this big fact in community and evryone to easily run to successful life and he is helping to other individuals that built strong country , and show the name of allover the and other department working in various feilds and to clean or save country , everyone to protect this action

In conclusion in my perspective elder person living long cannot disadvantages in country and hard working man they run quickly to protect the c

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response makes a general attempt to discuss older people, but it does not clearly answer the central question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The opening says there are “various difficulties” and then refers to “advantage or drawbacks,” without establishing a consistent position. Some potentially relevant points appear, such as older people providing guidance and helping younger people achieve goals, but these are not explained with clear examples. The discussion of government facilities and disease control is difficult to connect to the comparison requested. The conclusion begins to state that long lives are not a disadvantage, but it is incomplete. The response is also 14 words below the required minimum. Develop a clear position and support each main point with a specific explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion, and phrases such as “Overall,” “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” show awareness of linking. However, the ideas do not progress in a clear sequence: the second paragraph shifts from countries without older people to village life, while later paragraphs move between disease control, personal success and protecting the country. Several sentences are difficult to follow because the relationships between ideas are unclear, and the conclusion stops before completing its point. Plan one paragraph around benefits and another around disadvantages, then use clear topic sentences and connect each supporting explanation directly to the paragraph’s main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response attempts some topic-related vocabulary, including “elderly,” “government,” “diseases,” “guidance” and “achieving goals.” This gives a basic starting point for discussing ageing and society. However, many word choices and phrases are inaccurate or unclear, which often makes the intended meaning difficult to understand. For example, “massive countries,” “home systematic happiness” and “teach other obscule” do not communicate precise ideas in this context. Spelling errors such as “belive,” “diffierent” and “Granfuther” also reduce clarity. Build a smaller, reliable set of expressions for this topic and check collocations and spelling; for instance, explain specific contributions such as childcare, community knowledge or volunteering rather than using vague phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to form longer sentences and use connectors, but sentence structures are often incomplete or difficult to interpret. For example, “individuals alive longer than ever before, is the population have increasing” combines clauses without a clear grammatical relationship, and “the government provide better facilities when control the diseases” lacks a clear subject and verb structure in its second part. There are also recurring problems with verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence boundaries, as seen in “everyone not go long live” and “elder person living long cannot disadvantages.” These errors frequently obscure the intended meaning. Practise writing accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using one clear subordinate clause or connector at a time.

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