Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many countries, it is widely belived that in today digital era people live longer. Most of the people think Aging population could create benifits, for instance: less crime rate etc. on the other hand, the rest of the people belive that rise in population of elders cause disadvantages for such as low population etc

Commencing with the first view, it would effect the economy of the particular country, if there is significant growth in aged people then there would be a lack of source of income and the population of the country as well, which is the major cause of bad economy and it also effects the GDP, Moreover it would cause an unemployment issue, elders people mostly do not have the peak ability to do work particularly physical work, more than 40 year old people they are more likely to beome the victom of disease which could increase the cost of healthcare industary.

Whereas, it is often argued that aging population has a positive effect on contemporary society a clear illustration of this is, no over population and they are able to solve complex problems they have more problem solving skills due to their experience, furthermore it encourage creativity by solving problem together.

As a result, to some extent benefits would be more than drawbacks because of the crucial reasons, low population, low crime rate because they are not capable to do these acticities such as snaching, roberry etc.

If we think sustainabaly it would not be a benefical.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view in the conclusion: you believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks to some extent. Relevant points include older people’s experience and possible contributions to problem-solving, as well as healthcare costs and economic effects. However, the position is not consistently clear: the opening says people live longer “in today digital era,” which does not explain the issue, and the final sentence, “it would not be a benefical,” appears to contradict your conclusion. Several claims, such as lower crime and “low population,” are asserted rather than explained, and the disadvantages are not balanced against the benefits in enough detail. Develop each main point with a clear explanation or example and make your final judgement consistent.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic overall structure, moving from an introduction to disadvantages, advantages and a conclusion. Signposts such as “Whereas” and “As a result” help show the intended direction. However, progression within and between ideas is often unclear. The first body paragraph combines economic effects, population decline, unemployment and healthcare costs without showing how these points connect. The advantages paragraph also moves quickly from population size to experience and creativity. Some linking phrases are inaccurate or awkward, and the final sentence is detached from the conclusion. Use one focused paragraph for each side, connect each claim to its explanation, and ensure the conclusion follows logically from the discussion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “aged people,” “GDP,” “healthcare industry,” “problem-solving skills” and “contemporary society.” These choices show some awareness of the subject, but the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning less clear, such as “lack of source of income,” “peak ability to do work” and “low population” when discussing an aging society. Spelling errors are also noticeable, including “belived,” “benifits,” “victom” and “industary,” which can distract the reader. Aim for more precise phrases and check spelling carefully. For example, distinguish a shrinking working-age population from a low total population, and use standard expressions such as “healthcare costs” and “physical capacity.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer structures, including conditional clauses such as “if there is significant growth in aged people then…” and contrastive openings such as “Whereas, it is often argued…”. However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty or difficult to follow. For example, “it would effect the economy … if there is significant growth” shifts between conditional forms, while “elders people mostly do not have the peak ability” has problems with noun phrase structure. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, particularly where several ideas are joined with commas. Practise building accurate sentences with one main idea, and check subject–verb agreement, articles, and consistent verb forms before combining clauses.

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