Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's complex world,numerous issues and topics are subjected to debate.One such topic is that nationals lived more life today than before.Some indiviuals ask that elder population makes alot of difficulties for administration while other thinks that they are essential for society.While it is true that every topic has its own advantages and disadvantages,the benefit of eldery people in society overweigh the drawbacks. In this essay i will elaborate the advantages of elderly people on society and demonstrate why they hold greater significance compared to disadvantages.

To begin with, one prominent advantage of elder nationals in our surrounding help us to maintain and recall our cultural values and traditions.Basically they are representative of culture which we follow and they are the persons who spread our culture on the globe.They are essential for us due to importance of elderly person in our tradition.Moreover,one more advantage of these persons are that they are our ancestors and can help us in ups and downs of life and also they have knowhow of this world so they can be very helpful for us.

Despite these advantages, this have several disadvantages. one noteable drawback is that the elder people mainly contain different types of contageral viral diseases which can effect the daily life and health of young people mostly children.So we should take actions to make sure that they all have no disease so they cannot harm our surrounding.Also government should took different steps to address these issues to prevent any serious damage.

In conclusion,while topic have its benefits as well as drawbacks,the advantages it offer are undeniable. Therefore, it is evident that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, reinforcing its important in our modern society.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and you include both sides of the issue. The points about older people preserving traditions and offering guidance are relevant, but they remain broad: explain how this benefits society or provide a specific example. The disadvantage paragraph is less convincing because it focuses on disease transmission and makes a sweeping claim that older people may harm younger people, without evidence or discussion of more typical pressures such as healthcare or pensions. As a result, the response addresses the question only partially and its supporting ideas are limited and under-developed. To strengthen it, develop a balanced comparison and show why the benefits you identify outweigh the costs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph presenting benefits, a paragraph acknowledging disadvantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “Despite these advantages,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the broad direction. However, progression within paragraphs is less clear: the benefits paragraph moves from cultural traditions to personal advice without explaining their connection, while the disadvantage paragraph shifts from disease to government action. Some linking is mechanical, and references such as “this” in “this have several disadvantages” are unclear. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main point, then connect each example explicitly to your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “cultural values,” “traditions,” “administration,” and “drawbacks,” and the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make the writing awkward or occasionally unclear. For example, “nationals lived more life” does not naturally express increased life expectancy, and “elder nationals” is not an appropriate term for older people. There are also spelling errors such as “indivuals,” “contageral,” and “noteable,” alongside informal wording such as “alot.” Build a more precise vocabulary for demographic and policy issues, and check spelling and collocations carefully so your intended meaning is consistently clear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and subordinate clauses, for example, “While it is true that every topic has its own advantages and disadvantages…” and “why they hold greater significance compared to disadvantages.” However, the range is limited, and attempts at complex structures are often faulty. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in “other thinks,” “this have,” and “government should took”; articles and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent. The opening contains a run-on sequence, while capitalisation after full stops is unreliable. These recurring errors can make parts of the response difficult to read. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add complex clauses while checking subject–verb agreement, tense, articles, and punctuation.

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