Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

it is an undeniable fact that people thinks aging people create problems for governments . there are very common and serious issue now days . but aging people gave more advantage than youger . because older people kown very well than youger . he hand a great experince than youger .

There is advantage of having old people in socitey because his very clever man and he also has great phenomena of life spending he guides the chilhern very properly . and gives busniess ideas .

The second advantage of this the old people kown about the history and he tell you about different things which he you not kown and he also tell about your family history and your country history and is helpfull for you .

The third is most important advantage is the older people had and great experince of his life in politics they play very important role . like in manys country older people are hold the country . and his has better plan than yonger .

in conclustion i thinks older people provides benefits in country and he is very clever person and harder mans . we really gives respect for them .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You take a clear general position that the benefits of an older population are greater, and you give several relevant reasons: older people can guide children, share historical knowledge, and contribute experience in politics. However, the task asks you to weigh advantages against disadvantages, and you do not explain what problems an aging population may create or why the benefits outweigh them. The reasons are mostly asserted rather than supported with specific examples or explanation, so the argument remains limited. The response also contains 199 words, below the required 250, which restricts how fully you can develop your ideas. To improve, address both sides directly and explain each point with a concrete example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

Your response has a basic structure: an opening position, separate paragraphs introducing advantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing the points with “The second advantage” and “The third” helps the reader follow the list. However, the essay does not develop a clear progression from considering disadvantages to comparing them with benefits; instead, it moves through several similar advantages. Connections between sentences are often unclear, particularly in “he tell you about different things which he you not kown,” and references such as “he” and “his” do not always make clear who is meant. Use paragraphs to organise both sides of the argument, and connect each reason to the central comparison with clear linking phrases and precise references.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of relevant words, including “advantage,” “history,” “experience,” and “politics,” so the general topic is usually recognisable. However, vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with “older people” and “younger” appearing frequently, and several inaccurate or misspelled forms make meaning harder to follow, such as “phenomena” and “socitey.” Some expressions are not natural in this context, including “harder mans” and “great experience of his life in politics.” Build a wider range of accurate phrases for discussing population and society, and check spelling and collocations. More precise wording would help you explain the benefits and disadvantages rather than relying on repeated general claims.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Most sentences use simple patterns, and you attempt a few longer sentences with “because” and “which.” However, grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes distort meaning. For example, “people thinks” has incorrect subject–verb agreement, while “he hand a great experince” and “he tell” use incorrect verb forms. Articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries are also unreliable, as in “There is advantage” and “very common and serious issue.” The response shows little control of complex structures, so practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using clauses such as “because” or “although.” Check agreement, verb tense, articles, and punctuation during revision.

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