Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In many countries, nowadays, the average life expectancy is increasing than ever before. Some people consider this as a challenge for the state, while others argue that it has several advantages to offer to the society. Although government need to allocate a huge amounts of money to take care of these people, which would lead to a economic crisis, their experiences can contribute to the welfare of their nations: therefore, I believe that the potential burden would be overshadowd by the range of benefits they can bring.

The government have to spend a massive proportion of budget to take care of the elderly people. This is because they are not capable enough to work and earn for making livlihoods. It is not a great issue for welfare states of first world, but it would be a huge burden for the third-world countries, such as some parts of South Asia and Africa.

On the other hand, the elderly people who are full of experience can provide special insights into diverse sectors of the government. For instance, a retired police officer can influence policy making by giving some valueable advice from his own experience of working on this field for a long period of time. Moreover, they should be regarded as living educational institutions because they can pass through their professional knowledge to the young people. There are many retired person who are interested to share their perspectives with young people, and by following their footsteps the youth of a country can enrich their knowledge in diverse sectors.

In conclusion, while it is undenible that elderly people can cause some problems like being the reason of finacial burden of state, the life lessons they can provide are very important; that is why I firmly believe that the advantages can outweigh disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: although supporting older people can strain public finances, you believe their contributions outweigh this burden. You address both sides and give relevant examples, especially the retired police officer advising on policy and older people sharing professional knowledge with younger generations. This shows a sound response to the question. However, the disadvantages are mainly described as government spending, and the benefits are largely framed as sharing experience; both could be developed further with specific consequences or examples. The claim that older people are unable to work is also broad and would benefit from qualification. To strengthen the response, explain how the benefits affect society in practice and acknowledge that older people’s contributions vary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall progression: the introduction states your view, the two body paragraphs present the disadvantage and advantages, and the conclusion restates your position. Paragraphing is appropriate, and signposts such as “On the other hand,” “For instance,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. The example of a retired police officer also gives the benefits paragraph a logical focus. Some connections are less smooth: “therefore” after the colon in the introduction makes the relationship between the clauses awkward, and the final sentence of the benefits paragraph repeats the idea of sharing knowledge without adding much. Develop each point in a more distinct sequence and use referencing or transitions where they clarify how one idea leads to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “life expectancy,” “welfare states,” “policy making,” and “professional knowledge.” Phrases such as “living educational institutions” show an attempt to express ideas vividly, and the intended meaning is generally clear. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “increasing than ever before,” “making livlihoods,” “pass through their professional knowledge,” and “financial burden of state.” There are also spelling errors such as “overshadowd,” “valueable,” and “undenible.” These do not prevent understanding, but they limit precision and control. Focus on accurate collocations and check spelling; for example, use “increasing faster than ever,” “earn a living,” and “pass on their professional knowledge.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a concession clause beginning “Although” and a relative clause in “the elderly people who are full of experience.” These help you express contrast and add detail. However, some errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction remain. For example, “government need” and “The government have” do not maintain consistent subject–verb agreement, while “a huge amounts” combines a singular article with a plural noun. The opening sentence also uses an incorrect comparative structure: “life expectancy is increasing than ever before.” The long introductory sentence is difficult to control, particularly around “although” and “therefore.” Practise checking agreement and articles, and divide complex ideas into clauses with clear grammatical relationships.

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