Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is widely acknowledged that aging population plays a pivotal role in shaping various aspects of our lives. Minority of masses contemplate that aging population produce cocerns for authorities. While other individuals argue that there are perks of older community to the society. From my perspective, the drawbacks of this statement carry more weight than its benefits.

Commencing with benefits, there are few points to stand with this statement, the first and foremost reason behind this is that it provides financial stability to masses. To decphir, if individuals live longer then they can do work for long time and this provides them finance to fulfill their dreams. This may lead to enjoy their life with loved ones with their whole life financial securities. Moreover, grandparents meet their grandchild. Grand kid learn from their experience and gain know-how about society behavior.

Nevertheless, there are numerous drawbacks to neglect this statement, firstly, more burden on authorities for making hospitals and other facilitates. To elaborate it, when there are more old people then they have high chances to get ill because elder people have weak immune system the young ones. So, they can easily catch by diseases and government can take care of them in medical field such as hire new doctors and build new hospitals. Secondly, more retired masses create difficulty to government in many cases such as no source of income, more staff for take care of them in their thick and thin conditions such as medical, financial and family problem so on which may affect the innovation because when more people work in take care of elder people then they cannot do any creative work.

To conclude, although, there are few benefits such as gain experience from elder people which helps to attain goal in concise manner. However, as per my views this may create problem for governments such as more retired people and need for more medical facilitates.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you believe the disadvantages of an ageing population outweigh the benefits, and you discuss both sides. The points about older people sharing experience with grandchildren and governments facing greater healthcare and support costs are relevant to the question. However, the benefits paragraph is not fully convincing: the claim that people living longer can work for longer does not explain how this is generally a benefit of an ageing population, since many older people are retired or unable to work. The disadvantages are more developed, but the point about care work reducing innovation is asserted rather than supported with an example or explanation. Develop each main idea with a clear cause-and-effect explanation and make the comparison between the two sides more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “Moreover,” “Nevertheless,” and “To conclude” help signal the stages of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several ideas are joined together without clear links. For example, the discussion of retired people moves from income to care needs and then to innovation in one long sentence. Some transitions also sound formulaic or do not accurately describe the relationship between ideas. Organise each body paragraph around one main point, then explain and illustrate it before moving on. Clearer referencing and more precise links between claims would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “financial stability,” “immune system,” “retired,” and “innovation,” and the reader can generally understand your intended meaning. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural, as in “Minority of masses,” “perks of older community,” and “more burden on authorities.” Several spelling errors, including “cocerns,” “decphir,” and “facilitates,” also reduce accuracy. Some phrases are repeated or vague, such as “more old people” and “in many cases.” Aim for standard, precise expressions used in discussions of ageing, such as “an ageing population,” “pressure on public services,” and “healthcare facilities.” Proofreading spelling and checking whether words naturally combine will make your ideas clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if individuals live longer then they can do work for long time” and clauses beginning with “when.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in articles, agreement, verb forms, and sentence construction frequently make the writing difficult to read. For example, “aging population produce” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “they can easily catch by diseases” lacks a correct verb construction. The sentence beginning “Secondly, more retired masses create difficulty” also becomes structurally unclear as several ideas are added. Practise building shorter, complete sentences first, then combine them with accurate subordinate clauses. Check articles, plural forms, and verb patterns during revision.

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