Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In certain nations, individuals are now living more than past.Many people say an old population creates certain concern for authorities while, other argue that having old people is beneficial for society.However, I believe that having an older people have more drawbacks than benefits, which I will explain in the following paragraphs.

First and foremost, if country have more old people than government have to pay them some amout of money.This is because they does not able to do any kind of work and as a result they not earn money which help them to get besic facility.For that, they are liablities on the government because they have to pay money to an old people for doing nothing.In addition, many government jobs are paying pension to retried workrs just because they work their it is also drawbacks that having more aged person.For example, Indian government always pay certain amount of money when government employes finish their duty because of retirenment.

Moreover, sometimes an aged person have rare desease and because of that the authority have to exports some medicine which is specialy desinged to treat them and they have to pay more tax on that kind of medicine, despite an exports of medicine it is not possible for an old people to recieve better treatment and for that government have to provide facilties for them and it cost more to them.For instnace, some old people does not have enough money to get treatment for that the policymaker have to create special amenities for them it have more cost then other things.

However, having an older people have some benefits and one of them is they can suggest better solution for any problem which occurs in a society.This is because they not only old enough, but they also have experience to deal with such kind of hard situations.For example, there is any problem occurs related to culture then having an older people is beneficial because they can solve that problems easily.

To sum up, having more aged people creates some problems for government which cost them more and they do not able to contribute to rise of gdp.However, they have some benefits in cultural activities that it not easily ignored.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you argue that the disadvantages of an ageing population outweigh the benefits, and you address both sides of the question. The two main disadvantages—government spending on pensions and the cost of healthcare—are relevant, and the Indian pension example helps make one point more concrete. However, some claims are broad or insufficiently explained, such as older people being unable to work or contributing nothing, and the healthcare paragraph does not clearly show how the costs arise. The benefit paragraph identifies older people’s experience and cultural knowledge, but gives only a brief explanation of how these help society. Develop each point with a clearer cause-and-effect explanation and weigh the benefits against the costs more explicitly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two paragraphs on disadvantages, a paragraph on benefits, and a conclusion. This makes your line of argument easy to identify. You also use signposting such as “First and foremost,” “Moreover,” and “However” to guide the reader. At times, though, connections within paragraphs are mechanical or unclear. For example, the healthcare paragraph moves from rare diseases to imported medicine, taxes, treatment access, and special facilities without showing the links between these ideas. Some references, such as “that kind of medicine” and “it,” are also difficult to follow. Use fewer, more precise linking phrases and make the relationship between each supporting detail and its main point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “pension,” “government,” “treatment,” “GDP,” and “cultural activities,” so the reader can understand the subject of each paragraph. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make parts of the response less clear. Examples include “old population,” “liablities,” “rare desease,” and “rise of gdp.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “pay them some amount of money” and “exports some medicine.” Aim for more precise expressions for public spending and older people’s contribution, and check spelling carefully. Learning accurate topic collocations will help you express your ideas more naturally and reduce the effort required from the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional and reason clauses such as “if country have more old people” and “This is because…,” and your overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms occur throughout and sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “they does not able to do” needs a correctly formed verb phrase, while “an aged person have” has a subject–verb agreement problem. Several sentences also run together without appropriate punctuation, as in the opening paragraph. Practise building accurate basic clauses first, then combine them with one clear subordinate clause; check articles, plural forms, and agreement when editing.

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