Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

i believe that the elderly people are more benefits in society due to the olderly people have to much knowledge and experience like how to live and survive in the society the older people have spend there age in the society it know everything. Now a days the olderly people is more significant therefore if we faced any problem so t he aging people say that dont be affraid or panic stay strong.

the disadvatage of aging population creates problems for govenrments such as the aging people increased healthcare costs elderly people often suffer from health problems. they need more medical treatments medicines and hospital facilities. The government shpould have spend more money on the helathcare.

example older people require daily check-ups and expensive medical treatment.

The second main reason is higher pansion issues retired people depend on government pansion. Government should provide financial and medical support. the increase the financial buden on national budget.

The thrid disadvantage is shortage of workers when the olderly people is retired from jobs the number of working age people decrease. They can a lead ofg shortage of skilled workers and lower ecnomic productivity.

In my opinion i believe that the olderly people are live in society it to much benefits for the young generation therefore the young generation is don,t know about the bad or good things so the eldery.People can help to teach us how to spend there live most of the young people can gain knowledge from the aging person which is benefit for young people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question by identifying benefits, such as older people sharing experience with younger generations, and disadvantages, including healthcare costs, pension spending and a smaller workforce. Your concluding view is that the benefits are greater, so a position is present. However, the comparison is not fully developed: most of the essay explains disadvantages, while the benefits are asserted rather than supported with a specific example or clear explanation of their wider value. The opening repeats the prompt, and the conclusion restates your view without weighing the arguments. To strengthen the response, explain how older people’s knowledge benefits society and directly compare that contribution with the costs and workforce effects.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure: it introduces a view, presents disadvantages in separate sections, and ends with a conclusion. This helps readers identify the main topics. However, progression is limited because the benefits paragraph is difficult to follow, and the essay moves quickly from one disadvantage to another without explaining how the points connect to the overall comparison. Linking phrases such as “The second main reason” and “The third disadvantage” are repetitive and do not show relationships between ideas. Some references are unclear, particularly “it know everything” and “the increase the financial burden.” Organise the essay around a clear sequence of benefits, disadvantages and evaluation, and use linking expressions that explain cause, contrast or consequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “healthcare costs,” “medical treatments,” “pension” and “economic productivity,” which makes the main subject clear. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “olderly people” and “young generation.” Frequent spelling and word-choice errors, such as “pansion,” “disadvatage” and “financial buden,” make parts of the response harder to read. Some expressions are also unnatural, for example “spend there age in the society” and “higher pansion issues.” Build a more accurate set of topic phrases and check spelling carefully; using precise terms for older people, retirement and public spending will make your arguments clearer and more appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to express reasons and consequences, and there are a few understandable simple statements, such as “They need more medical treatments, medicines and hospital facilities.” However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and attempts to form longer sentences often contain errors that make meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “the elderly people are more benefits,” “the aging people increased healthcare costs,” and “the olderly people are live in society.” Subject–verb agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence boundaries need attention. Punctuation and capitalisation are also inconsistent, particularly in the long opening paragraph and the conclusion. Practise writing short, complete sentences first, then combine related ideas with accurate clauses and check each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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