Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. some people aging population creates problems for governments .other people thinks there are benefits if society has more elderly people. However, there are both pros and cons to deciding to do this; in this essay, I will examine the reasons related to people are now living in many countries longer than before and explore some of the challenges need to be overcome.

let's begin by looking the advantages of aging population. one of the main positive wisdom and experiences. What I mean by this is that older generations hold a wealth of knowledge. For instance knowledge of historical perspective and technical skills they can mentor the younger workers or guide communities.

secondly, child care and family support. To illuminate my meaning, some grandparents provide an active child care. As an illustration due to this parents are balance their job and household stress.

Turning the other side of the argument, health care problems. To be more precise, older individuals need more medical treatments and specialized care to fight with diseases. specifically, long-term hospital services, escalating national health budgets.

Another issue is that labor shortage. in other words, it may be problematic if a shrinkage pool of younger working-age citizens, can reduce economic productivity, slow down innovation and leads to smaller tax base.

All thins are considered, people are living longer than in many countries ever before. you need to weigh up the pros of positive wisdom and experiences of older people and the cons of labor shortage due to older citizens

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify relevant advantages, including older people’s “wisdom and experiences” and grandparents’ childcare, and disadvantages such as healthcare costs and a smaller working-age population. However, the task asks you to judge how far the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and your conclusion only says readers “need to weigh up” the pros and cons rather than giving your own clear judgement. The ideas are also brief: for example, you mention mentoring and family support but do not explain their wider effects or compare their importance with the costs. The response is 232 words, below the 250-word minimum; the 30 words copied from the prompt are not counted. Develop the comparison and state a definite position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a concluding sentence. Signposting such as “secondly” and “Turning the other side of the argument” helps readers follow the shift between points. However, progression within paragraphs is often interrupted by formulaic or unclear transitions, including “To illuminate my meaning” and “As an illustration due to this.” Some points appear as fragments rather than connected explanations, such as “one of the main positive wisdom and experiences.” The conclusion also repeats the topic without resolving the argument. Use fewer stock linking phrases and connect each claim to its explanation and example in a clear sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “historical perspective,” “specialized care,” “economic productivity,” and “tax base,” which helps communicate the main subject areas. There is also some variation in how you introduce examples and explanations. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or awkward, as in “one of the main positive wisdom,” “fight with diseases,” and “a shrinkage pool.” These choices sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Spelling and word-form slips such as “thins” and “thinks” also reduce control. Build a more reliable range of natural phrases for discussing ageing, employment, healthcare, and family support, and check that each word fits its grammatical and contextual role.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, for example, “For instance knowledge of historical perspective and technical skills they can mentor the younger workers or guide communities.” This shows an effort to explain ideas, but sentence boundaries and clause structure are often faulty, and several sentences are incomplete. Agreement and verb forms also need attention: “other people thinks” should use a plural verb, while “parents are balance” has an incorrect verb pattern. Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, particularly at sentence beginnings and around full stops. These errors can make relationships between ideas unclear. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then combine them using accurate subordinate clauses and check agreement and punctuation.

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