Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Aging is a natural phenomenon from which every individual will pass no matter what their gender is.

In many countries people think that aged people are our power while some believe that it becomes hurdle in the way of success. From my perspective our ancesters who are alive has more advantages over side effects.

I believe that we should support them in this stage of life because they became weak and they are really in need of our help but we can learn alot of things from them because they are more experienced than us. Suppose a family consist of 10 members in which two are male while the remaining are females. If their father are the single earner of that family and became overage, now it's the time for their elder son to take responsibilities of the home so in this situation who will guide them? who will give a proper direction to their elder son. To answer this question everyone will say that definitley his father will guide them about his future and his job and how to take take responsibilities of the family. These long lived ancestors carries life skills and experienced, they gained in the future. They's why i support the idea of those people who think that aged people can benefit our society.

To put the matter into the nutshell, we preserved them, if we aimed to become developing country.They will give us ideas and young youth we follow their instructions to achieve success in life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear preference for the benefits of older people, especially their experience and ability to guide younger family members. The example of a father advising his son is relevant and helps explain one benefit. However, the response addresses the question only partially: it does not explain the disadvantages of an aging population or compare their importance with the advantages, which is central to “to what extent.” The discussion also focuses on family guidance rather than wider effects on society or governments, and the claim that older people offer “more advantages over side effects” is not developed with enough reasons or evidence. To strengthen the response, discuss at least one disadvantage, weigh it against the benefits, and support both sides with specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic overall structure: an introduction states your view, a main paragraph develops the idea of older people as guides, and a conclusion restates your position. Linking expressions such as “From my perspective,” “To answer this question,” and “To put the matter into the nutshell” show an effort to connect ideas. However, progression is limited because the response largely repeats the same point about elders’ experience, and the long family example contains several questions and explanations without clear paragraph breaks. Some references are also difficult to follow, such as “they” in the final sentence. Organise the essay into distinct paragraphs for benefits, disadvantages, and your judgement, and use clearer links between each point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “experienced,” “guide,” “responsibilities,” and “society,” which helps communicate your main idea. There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “natural phenomenon” and “life skills.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, including “becomes hurdle in the way of success,” “over side effects,” and “These long lived ancestors carries life skills.” Spelling errors such as “ancesters,” “definitley,” and “alot” are noticeable and reduce precision. Aim for accurate, natural phrases and check spelling carefully; for example, describe older people as a “valuable source of experience” rather than using unclear expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a conditional example beginning “If their father…” and a question used to develop the scenario. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction can make parts difficult to follow. Examples include “Aging is a natural phenomenon from which every individual will pass,” “their father are the single earner,” and “These long lived ancestors carries.” The final sentence also has an unclear structure: “They will give us ideas and young youth we follow their instructions.” Practise building accurate clauses, checking subject–verb agreement, and separating long sentences into shorter, complete units. More reliable sentence control would make your ideas easier to understand.

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