Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It's often argued that some people think now a days indvidual living long life which is peoblematic for authorities, on the other hand, few people think it is beneficial for society. Additionally, aging is a natural process it depends on person health and immunity. For instance, many indvidual mintain healthy lifestyle even at the age of 60, they looks young and physically fit as compared to their acutual age .

On the one hand, if people living long its beneficial for their family . They can spend more time with their elders . Further , they can also makes memories with them . For example, many childern pray for their parents long life because they are emotionally attach with them .Many childern take care of their to safe them from severe symptoms of aging and to increase their life span.

On the other hand, if some people live long their families become panic from their aging symptoms . They are not ale to give them proper care or attention due to their hectic schedule. They admitt their elders in old age home .This situation cause issues for policy makers to make sure their protection and to fulfil their basic needs.

In my opinion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages . Nverthless, in our modern society yougster have no respect for their elders. They have not enough time and space fo their elders. At the end, goverment make extras fund and policies to takecare of their nation old age indviduals.

In conclusion, Goverment should take proper responsibility of their older people .Morover, provide monthly allownces and their medications to mintain their better life style

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question and state a position in “the advantages outweigh the disadvantages,” so the response is relevant to the task. However, the comparison is only partly developed: the benefits focus mainly on family memories and emotional attachment, while the disadvantages mention care pressures and government responsibilities. These points need clearer explanation of how they affect society and why one side outweighs the other. The opening discussion of healthy lifestyles and looking young is not clearly connected to the effects of an aging population. Your conclusion recommends government support, but does not fully reinforce the reasoning behind your judgement. Develop fewer, more relevant ideas with specific explanations or examples to make your position clearer and more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an identifiable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting opposing views, and a conclusion. Phrases such as “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help signal the contrast. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the opening moves from longer life to health and immunity without showing how this relates to the essay question, and the final paragraph shifts from your view that advantages outweigh disadvantages to criticism of younger people and government funding. Some linking is mechanical, and connections between sentences are not always explicit. Organise each paragraph around one main point, then explain it in a logical sequence; use references such as “this pressure” or “these benefits” to make links clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “policy makers,” “basic needs,” “old age home,” and “life span,” and the reader can generally identify your intended meaning. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “families become panic,” “safe them from severe symptoms,” and “make extras fund.” Repeated use of “people,” “elders,” and “children” also limits precision. Spelling errors—including “indvidual,” “childern,” and “goverment”—are noticeable and sometimes make reading less smooth. Build a more precise set of topic expressions and check spelling and word forms carefully. Prefer natural combinations such as “provide care for older relatives” and “allocate additional funding.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including a conditional structure in “if some people live long their families become panic from their aging symptoms.” However, complex attempts are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries occur frequently. For example, “they can also makes memories” should use a base-form verb after “can,” while “many individual maintain” needs plural agreement. The opening also joins independent ideas with a comma, and “aging is a natural process it depends” needs clearer punctuation or a linking word. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise accurate sentence patterns first, then add subordinate clauses and check each sentence for a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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