Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this modren world average age of humans has increased. In a lot of countries individuals live longer life than the past. A few individuals believe that the aging population creates issue for government, while others argue that if a country has erderly individuals its a benificial. I strongly believe that we have advantages of the old people. This essay will discuss both views and give my perspective.

On the one hand, people who say old humans are disadvantages of society they do not want take responsibility of parents or any aged person because takecare of parents need financial spoort and time. Nowadays, we have not these two things. For instance, in many countries people leave their elder in oldage homes because they have not time to takecare of htem that is why some people say aged people are problem.

On the other hand, some individuals think old people are benificial because they can do household chords moreover, they have fellings with them. For instance, in Pakistan ew do respect old people due to religon. Our religion teachs us to takecare of parents consequently, we do respect of parents.

From my perspective, many old individuals pay taxes and some are very aducated and they teach others god behaviour and life lessons, so we take care of old people.

To sum up, according to some people elders are not benificial due to the lack of time and money and other respect because of their religion. I strrongly agree with those people who respect elders and most of the world do respect elders.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall preference for the benefits of older people, especially in “I strongly believe that we have advantages of the old people,” and you include examples related to family care and respect in Pakistan. However, the response only partially answers the comparison in the question. The disadvantages are mainly described as the time and financial demands of caring for elderly relatives, while the benefits are less clearly explained: household help and religious respect do not fully show how an aging population benefits society or outweighs its costs. The point that older people pay taxes and teach life lessons is relevant, but it needs explanation or a concrete example. Develop both sides and make the weighing-up explicit in the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, a paragraph giving your own view, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “To sum up” helps readers follow the broad direction. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear. For example, the first body paragraph moves from the burden of care to people leaving parents in care homes without fully connecting these points to government-level problems. The conclusion also says that “other respect because of their religion,” which makes the relationship between the views difficult to follow. Use clearer links between each claim and its example, and make references such as “those people” more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “aging population,” “government,” “financial support,” “old-age homes,” and “life lessons,” so the reader can identify the subject and your main ideas. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts of the response difficult to understand, such as “household chords,” “they have fellings with them,” and “teach others god behaviour.” Spelling errors, including “modren,” “erderly,” and “benificial,” also reduce accuracy. Aim to learn common phrases for discussing aging and public services, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you explain the social and economic effects rather than relying repeatedly on “old people” and “respect.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses linked with “because,” “while,” and “that is why.” This gives the response some structural variety, but complex sentences are often faulty and errors occur frequently enough to make several ideas hard to follow. For example, “people who say old humans are disadvantages of society they do not want take responsibility” lacks a clear grammatical connection between its clauses and needs an infinitive marker after “want.” There are also problems with articles, agreement, and sentence construction in “if a country has erderly individuals its a benificial” and “Our religion teachs us.” Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check each sentence for complete clauses and correct agreement.

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