Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In many countries,people are now living longer than ever before.some people say an aging population creates problem for government.other people think are benefit if society has more elderly people.

Elderly,people have a lot of experince and knowledge.They can guaid the young people.Many old people helps is looking to grandchildern,so parent work easily.Retired old people do volunteer work helps and society.OLder people spend money health,travel and shopping,which help the economic.

government has to spend more money on pensions and healthcare for old people. There are fewer young workers,So there is a shortage of workers factories and officers.old people need more hospital and care homes,which is the expensive the country.Young people have to pay more tax to support the elderely .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify relevant advantages, including older people sharing experience, helping with childcare and volunteering, and disadvantages such as higher pension and healthcare costs and a smaller workforce. However, the response does not clearly answer the key question: it gives no explicit judgement about whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The points are listed rather than explained or supported with examples, so the position and reasoning remain minimal. The response is also substantially below the required 250 words: it contains 103 words, and the 18 words copied from the prompt are not counted. To improve, state your view directly, develop each main point with a reason or example, and address the comparison between benefits and costs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to group ideas: benefits appear first, followed by costs, which gives the reader a simple overall structure. However, the response is very brief and the ideas within each paragraph are mostly presented as a list, with little explanation of how one point leads to another. Linking is limited, and the opening repeats the task rather than establishing your own position. Some connections are difficult to follow, particularly the sentence about older people spending money on health, travel and shopping. Use a clear introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion that compares them. Add linking phrases such as “For example” and “By contrast” to make relationships between points clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “pensions,” “healthcare,” “volunteer work,” “workers” and “care homes,” so the reader can recognise the main subject and several key ideas. However, the range is limited, and errors in spelling, word forms and collocations sometimes make the meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “experince,” “childern,” “helps is looking to,” and “spend money health.” Some phrases are also imprecise, such as “the economic” and “the expensive the country.” Build a more accurate set of expressions for discussing ageing, public spending and social contributions, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you explain your ideas rather than merely name them.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response mainly uses short, simple statements, with a few attempts to join ideas using “so” and “which.” This gives you a basic way to communicate separate points, but there is little variety in sentence structure, and frequent errors affect clarity. For example, “some people say an aging population creates problem for government” has problems with capitalisation and singular/plural forms, while “other people think are benefit” is missing a clear subject and verb structure. In “Many old people helps,” the subject and verb do not agree. Practise forming complete sentences with accurate subjects, verbs and articles, then combine related ideas using clauses such as “because” or “which means that.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.