Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, in many countries , people are now living longer than ever before. A group of people believe that elderly people creates problems for governments, while another group of people think that it would be beneficial if a society has more elderly people. I believe a society with more elderly people is not advantageous because they are dependent on others.

On the one hand, n many countries, the proportion of older people is growing so rapdily and they are being cause the slow development.A society is made by their people but the working progress of young people is much faster than the old ones. and their disadvantages is more than advantages. They are increasing the population of the world and it can be challenging not only for their family but also for the government .However,the biggest problem for a society with elder people is that, they cannot do their own work themselves and that's why they are not independent. They are unable to walk, eat and drink and most importantly, they are not helpful for the development of any country's progress. For instance, Japan is the only country where population of older people is more than the young generation.

On the other hand, some people believe that the elder people are useful for the society. Additionally, the older people know the hardships of life and they can easily teach the young people how to be better in life because they have experienced the life.They can be helpful for those kids whose parents are employed and they can take care of their children. Furthermore, kids like to listen stories from their grandparents.

In conclusion, some believe that having elder people is helpful while others think that it creates problem. I think it is not helpful to have many older people in the society because they are dependent on others

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and state a clear view in the introduction and conclusion: you argue that an aging population is not advantageous because older people depend on others. The discussion includes relevant points about government and family responsibilities, as well as grandparents sharing experience and caring for children. However, the response only partly answers how far the advantages outweigh the disadvantages: the disadvantages receive much more explanation, while the benefits are listed briefly and not weighed against them. Claims such as older people being “not helpful” to national progress are broad and need qualification or evidence. Develop each main point with a specific explanation or example, and make the comparison between the two sides explicit. (11 words copied from the task prompt were not counted.)

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs presenting opposing views, and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its basic structure. Phrases such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the first body paragraph moves from population growth to work speed, dependency, and Japan without clearly connecting or developing these points. Some linking is mechanical, and punctuation around transitions is inconsistent, as in “progress.However”. The conclusion repeats the position rather than drawing together the comparison. Organise each paragraph around one central claim, then explain and support it before moving to the next idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “proportion of older people,” “government,” “independent,” and “hardships of life.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “working progress” and “development,” but several choices are inaccurate or repetitive and sometimes make the meaning unclear. For example, “working progress” does not naturally express the idea of productivity, and “they are being cause the slow development” is difficult to interpret. Spelling errors such as “rapdily” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise range of vocabulary for discussing aging, employment, care, and public services, and check collocations and spelling. The suggestions below offer practical alternatives drawn from your response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including a contrast with “while” and a reason introduced by “because.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation sometimes make the reader work to understand the point. Examples include “elderly people creates problems,” where the subject and verb do not agree, and “the proportion of older people is growing so rapidly and they are being cause the slow development,” which has a faulty clause structure. Sentence fragments and run-on punctuation also appear, such as “and their disadvantages is more than advantages.” Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Review agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries when editing.

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