Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many countries people are now living longer than before, resulting in an increase in the population of elderly people. Although an increasing population of elderly individuals can put a lot of pressure on the government, particularly in terms of healthcare and pension expenditure, I believe that its benefits outweigh its drawbacks, as elderly people can contribute positively in the development of society and family.

One major drawback is that it can cause a financial burden on the government. This is because many citizens when they get older need special care and treatment. This means government have to allocate extra funds to hospitals and elderly care programs. Consequently, it could cause extra pressure on authorities and societies. Moreover, elderly people usually depend on their pension, which they get from government bodies. This can create a burden on working individuals who work in these schemes. Therefore, it could negatively affect both the authorities and taxpayers.

On the other hand, old-aged individuals could contribute positively to the society and family. This is mainly because old people are experienced in every aspect of life. For example, an experienced employer could teach new workers conveniently. Furthermore, they could help to look after their grandchildren. This can be particularly helpful for working parents who deal with both work and home problems.

In conclusion, although a growing population of old-aged citizens could potentially pressure the authorities as they need extra facilities in healthcare, I believe that they play a pivotal role in the development of society and family, as they could assist their new workers and they could look after their grandchildren to help their working parents.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you acknowledge the pressure an ageing population places on public spending, but argue that its benefits outweigh the drawbacks. You address both sides and give relevant examples, including older people mentoring new workers and helping care for grandchildren. The disadvantages are explained more fully through healthcare and pension costs, while the benefits are asserted more briefly; for instance, “experienced in every aspect of life” is broad and would be stronger with a specific example of knowledge or skills being passed on. The claim that pension costs burden working people also needs clearer explanation. Develop these points and explain more directly why the benefits outweigh the financial costs. (Nine words copied from the task prompt were not counted.)

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, separate paragraphs discuss disadvantages and advantages, and the conclusion restates your position. Linking phrases such as “Moreover,” “On the other hand,” and “Consequently” help readers follow the argument, and the progression between the two sides is easy to understand. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some stronger control through clear paragraphing. However, several links feel formulaic, and the relationship between ideas is not always precise: “This can create a burden on working individuals who work in these schemes” does not clearly explain how pension dependence affects taxpayers. Use more exact referencing and connect each example explicitly to your main comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “financial burden,” “pension expenditure,” “allocate extra funds,” and “pivotal role.” These choices communicate the main ideas clearly, and attempts at more formal language suit an academic essay. Some less natural or imprecise expressions, however, limit the accuracy and flexibility of the vocabulary. “Old-aged individuals” and “elderly individuals” are repetitive, while “contribute positively to the society and family” is an awkward collocation. “Conveniently” does not clearly express how an experienced employer would teach new workers. Aim for more natural collocations and precise wording, and vary repeated references to older people. The meaning remains clear despite these word-choice issues.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concessive opening (“Although…”) and cause-and-effect structures (“This is because…” and “Consequently…”). Most sentences are understandable, and errors do not prevent the reader from following your argument. Some grammatical inaccuracies remain, particularly with agreement and articles: “government have to allocate” should be “the government has to allocate,” and “to the society and family” would normally be “to society and families.” The sentence beginning “This is because many citizens when they get older…” would be clearer with commas around the time clause. The conclusion also repeats a long structure with “as” and “they could,” which makes it less controlled. Check agreement and article use, and vary sentence patterns.

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