Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The long living is positive indicater for any government because it shows the healthy society. Few citizens believe that elder people cause problems for government and other think that there are more benefits with old people. Although it offers several benefits, it also has certain drawbacks.

Aging people has not much contribution to any society because they are not able to work properly. However, it can be depend on the authorities that how they can produce different skills for elder people to enagage and used them for country ecnomical growth. For example, the small packing or light weight work can be done by old people. ABC company only hire above 60 age people for their cotton packing with 4 hours of work daily and more than 300 aged people work there. This action make them independent and their stress level was surprisingly decreased. Additionally, this helps them as body exercise with fun.

There are several problems that as been seen over they last few years that aging population increased rapidly and old age houses were full. Now many children need to quite thier jobs and start caring their parents as well as the government retriment funds were abruptly increased which was real cuase of old people. Some of aging poeple faces different sickness and hospitals were full the old people only. this is the reason there should be an activity for old age people.

To conclude, The longer ages can be happened when country focuses on organic food and control hazards products. this can no issue if these people live without any sickness. so government need to plan their working sector for all kind of ages, only exclude the children. Living longer life without problem can be blessing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the issue and give a relevant example of older people doing light work, explaining that this may support independence and wellbeing. You also identify pressures on family carers, retirement funds and hospitals. However, the response does not clearly answer the key question of how far the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The opening says there are benefits and drawbacks, but the conclusion shifts to preventing illness and planning work, without making a clear comparison or stating which side is stronger. Several points, such as the claim that older people contribute little and the example of the packing company, need clearer explanation and support. State your position directly and develop the most relevant reasons on both sides.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the paragraphs broadly separate potential contributions from problems. Some linking expressions, including “However,” “Additionally” and “To conclude,” help signal relationships. Nevertheless, progression within paragraphs is often unclear: the first body paragraph moves from limited contribution to authorities, a company example and exercise without clearly connecting each point to the argument. The second paragraph combines care responsibilities, government funds and hospital capacity in a crowded sequence. References such as “this action” and “this is the reason” do not always make the intended connection clear. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main point, then order explanation and examples around it; avoid abrupt shifts and make links between claims explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “aging population,” “independent,” “stress level,” “retirement funds” and “sickness.” However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts difficult to understand, such as “long living,” “produce different skills,” “old age houses” and “organic food” in the conclusion. Spelling errors such as “enagage,” “ecn omical” (written as “ecnomical”), “thier” and “cuase” also reduce clarity. Aim for precise, natural phrases rather than translating ideas word by word: for example, describe older people as “remaining in the workforce” or “receiving care in residential homes.” Check spelling and word forms carefully, especially in key topic vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a concession with “Although” and a conditional idea beginning “if these people live without any sickness.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction can make meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “Aging people has,” “it can be depend,” “This action make them,” and “Some of aging people faces.” The sentence beginning “Now many children need to quite their jobs” also joins several ideas without clear grammatical control. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, and divide long sentences into shorter units. Proofread each sentence for a clear subject and verb before adding further clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.