Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The life span of any country's citizen depends on the social provisions, laws and order created by the government. The aging population in any society shows an increased welfare package and delibrate care for it's people. I have observed and read in many articles and journals the importance of having aging population in every society. The aging populations are those who pass down the culture and values of their society to the growing youth. Hence, the need for the aging population is very important.

However, it is very beneficial to have a population of aging people in every society as they are role models to the younger population. The aging population helps pass down wisdom and indept knowledge to their young populations such as Knowledge from Agriculture, Environmental preservation, orderliness and a lot more.

Additionally, the aging population are the engine room of every sane society as they provide counselling for their rulers and leaders in their respective societies.

Though it could be argued that it disadvantage outweighs it advantage based on their burden as it relates to care and provision for the aging population. The advantage slightly is over the disadvantage because the care needs of the aging population is also a good source of revenue for the government. There are trained healthcare professional who make a fortune from taking care of the aging population there by putting food on their table.

Additionally, The aging population are not burdens to the government rather a means of realizing more tax through their care systems.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You take a generally positive position, arguing that older people pass on culture and wisdom and can contribute through counselling and care-related employment. These points are relevant, but the response only partly answers the comparison in the question: the disadvantages are mentioned briefly as the costs of care, while the advantages are asserted rather than weighed against them. For example, the claim that care systems generate tax revenue does not explain whether this offsets public spending on pensions or healthcare. The opening also focuses on government provision rather than directly establishing your position. To strengthen the response, state clearly how far the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, then develop both sides with specific explanations or examples and a more explicit comparison.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has some paragraphing and a recognisable sequence: it introduces the topic, presents benefits, acknowledges a possible disadvantage, and returns to its position. Linking expressions such as “However,” “Additionally,” and “Though” help signal these moves. However, the overall progression is limited because several paragraphs repeat the same point that older people benefit society, without building a distinct argument. The final two sentences also make nearly identical claims about care systems and government revenue. Some connections are unclear, particularly the shift from the burden of care to the claim that it is a source of revenue. Organise the essay around separate, developed points and use clear references to show how each point supports your comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “welfare package,” “environmental preservation,” “counselling,” and “healthcare professional,” which helps communicate the subject. There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “engine room” and “pass down wisdom.” However, the range is limited by repeated use of “aging population,” “society,” and “population,” and some choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “deliberate care,” “indepth knowledge,” and “make a fortune” in this context. Spelling and word-form errors, including “delibrate” and “there by,” are noticeable. Aim for more precise terms and collocations, such as “older adults,” “specialist knowledge,” and “care-sector employment,” while checking spelling and avoiding repeated phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple statements and longer sentences, including a concession beginning “Though it could be argued…” and a sentence explaining how older people pass knowledge to younger generations. However, control is uneven, and errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “it disadvantage outweighs it advantage” has unclear pronouns and incorrect singular forms, while “the aging population are” shows disagreement between the subject and verb. The sentence beginning “There are trained healthcare professional” also has a plural agreement error, and several sentences use commas where clearer sentence boundaries are needed. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles and plural forms, and revise complex sentences so each clause has a clear subject and logical connection.

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