Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In may nations, individuals are blessed with living longer lives. There is an argument going on about the pros and cons of this phenomenon. Some people claim aging population generates issues for governments. Whie others believe it benefits the society if there are more elders. This essay will discuss that advantages do not outweigh disadvantages of aging people.

On the first hand, with the continuously prevailing populations, cities are expanding and so the need for more man-power to run the daily life. There are many technical professions that demand fresh blood and the countries that have aging population, look for individulas from other nations to work in theor country. For instance, in Italy, people tend to live longer, but the average birth rate is not adequate. This developed an unbalance in soicety and every year Italy invites individulas from Asia and Africa to come and settle in different areas. Therefore, aging paople cause difficuits for nations like Italy.

In addition, in many European countries, kids after getting involved in a relationship, leave their parent's houses and commence their individual lives and not financially supporting their elders. Aged parents then become the responsibilty of governments which exerts burden on budget. To elaborate further, a documentry aired on Youtube in 2020, showed that government in Kosovo elocated a major portion of its budget for old houses where aged people were left by their kids. Hence, there must be some skill development programms for the aging populations which can facilitate not ony old people but also governments.

To conclude, although elders having more experience in life can guide youngsters, but aging populations can cause threats for governments. The balance between aging population and low birth-rate can reduce pressure. Also kids must look after their parents when they are not been able to earn and support themselves.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you argue that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, and you give relevant reasons involving labour shortages and the cost of supporting older people. The Italy example and the Kosovo documentary help make these points more concrete. You also acknowledge a benefit in the conclusion, noting that older people can guide younger generations. However, the advantages side is only briefly addressed, and the claim that older people create labour shortages would benefit from a clearer explanation of how this follows from longer life expectancy. The proposed skills programmes are also introduced without showing how they would address the specific pressures described. Develop both sides more evenly and explain the links between each example and your judgement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting disadvantages, and a conclusion. Ideas generally progress from workforce pressures to the cost of care, and signposts such as “In addition” and “To conclude” help readers follow the argument. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. “On the first hand” does not clearly signal the relationship between the point and the essay’s position, while “with the continuously prevailing populations” makes the opening of the first body paragraph difficult to follow. The second paragraph shifts from family arrangements to government spending and then to skills programmes without fully linking these ideas. Use clearer topic sentences and connect examples explicitly to the point they support.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic-related vocabulary, including “birth rate,” “budget,” “responsibility,” and “skill development programmes.” Some attempts at more formal or less common wording show ambition, but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “continuously prevailing populations,” “fresh blood,” and “aging people” where “an ageing population” would be more precise. Spelling errors—including “individulas,” “soicety,” and “difficuits”—also reduce the accuracy of the vocabulary. These issues do not prevent the main argument from being understood, but they make parts of it less clear and polished. Prioritise accurate collocations and proofread spelling, especially in key topic terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “countries that have aging population” and a concession in the conclusion. The overall meaning is usually understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For example, “Some people claim aging population generates issues” needs articles, and “kids after getting involved in a relationship, leave” has an awkwardly placed introductory phrase and comma. In “although elders having more experience … can guide youngsters, but,” the clause structure is not correctly formed; use either “Although …, …” or “Elders …, but …,” not both. There are also errors in agreement and verb forms, such as “when they are not been able to earn.” Review articles, clause construction, and verb patterns while continuing to practise varied sentence structures.

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