Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many parts of the world, nowadays people have long life span. Many people believe that older population causes problems for governemtns. However, others think there are advantages for the society if number of seniors are more. I believe, this phenomenon has more drawbacks than benefits.

The major disadvantage of more elderly people for government is economic burden. Elderly people need facilities like accomodation, transportation, health care,and food that have to be provided by government and need large portion of budget every year. So, In countries, where they get these facilites for free, creates a pressure on governement.

The young generation faces problems to get opprtunities due to aging population. On work palces if elder people extend their age of retirement, young job seekers do not get chance to get a job easily because of no job vacancy. Secondly, from a business prospective, introduction of new innovation or technology may be challenging to implement because seniors face difficulties of learn new skills.

However, they are an important part of the society because they pass values, ethics, and culture from genration to generation. Elderly people have real life experiences and have the better way to teach upcoming generation about culture, beliefs, and importance of festivals. Moreover, they have spent their life working for the country, paid taxes, and support governemt in different ways, so it is the duty of government to take care of themselves.

To conclude, although elder people are backbone of the country that helps carry values from one genration to another, they can be problem for govenemt in term of economy and employment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you believe the disadvantages outweigh the benefits. You address both sides with relevant points, including public spending, competition for jobs, the transfer of cultural values, and older people’s past contributions. However, some ideas are more fully explained than others. The economic burden is asserted, but the response does not give a specific example or explain how costs might affect government priorities. The claim that older workers prevent young people from finding jobs also needs qualification or support, and the benefits are mainly described as cultural rather than weighed against the costs. Develop each main point with a clear explanation or example, and make the comparison between advantages and disadvantages more explicit throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, two paragraphs presenting disadvantages, a paragraph on benefits, and a conclusion. The progression from costs to employment and then to social contributions is easy to follow. You also use signposting such as “However,” “Moreover,” and “To conclude,” which helps readers recognise the stages of the argument. To make the organisation more flexible and precise, strengthen the links between claims and their explanations. For example, the sentence about innovation follows the employment point but its relationship to the main argument could be clearer. Some transitions feel formulaic, and the conclusion largely repeats earlier points rather than drawing together the comparison. Clearer referencing and more varied links between ideas would improve flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “economic burden,” “retirement,” “job seekers,” “innovation,” and “generation,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “pass values, ethics, and culture.” However, the range and control are uneven, with several spelling errors and awkward word combinations that reduce precision: “long life span,” “facilities like accomodation,” and “from a business prospective.” Some words are repeated, particularly “government” and “elderly people,” where more precise alternatives could help. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations as complete phrases. More accurate choices would make the argument sound clearer and more natural without requiring unnecessarily advanced vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional clause in “if elder people extend their age of retirement” and a relative clause in “that have to be provided by government.” Most of the argument remains understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity and control. For example, “So, In countries, where they get these facilities for free, creates a pressure” has an unclear subject and faulty clause structure; “seniors face difficulties of learn new skills” also needs a different grammatical pattern. There are further issues with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, as in “if number of seniors are more.” Practise building accurate complex sentences and check that each clause has a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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