Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

There are many people say that it is neccessary for children to learn how to keep busy their shelf on their own. Some argue that parents have to motivate their kids to take part in programmed group activities in ther free time. In this essay discuss both views with related examples.

On the one hand, group of people think that parents have to enchorage their children to take part in arranged group activities in their free time. They have many supportive reasons to support this. First major reason is that youngster do not have all knowledge, parents need to explain them about such things like, how this will helpful them in near future or what achievement they can get after doing such chores. For example, one of my friend very good with running and he took part in competition which was held by local sport group where he got first place. Because of this he aware that he has very good with running and after getting more training he can make his career in sport field. Personally, parents must enchorage their children related to such chores, and they can provide them better health life.

On the other hand, some think that it is important for children to learn how to spend their free time by their own shelf. There are several reasons for this such as lack of confidence, confusion and knowledge. Lack of confidence, due to this reason teenager feel weak and they can not push forward their self to do something major. For instance, one child will like to do swimming but he do not have enough motivation and resources, Due to this he never try for it and skill learning time gone.

In conclusion, as per some people parents need to motivate their children to take participat in programme. while others say they have to learn by their on self. In my sense, Parents need to guide them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You introduce both views and give a personal position in the conclusion: “Parents need to guide them.” The example of your friend’s running competition also supports the potential benefits of organised activities. However, the discussion is only partial. The first view receives more explanation, while the paragraph about independent free-time activities does not clearly explain why children should learn to occupy themselves alone; instead, it focuses on a child lacking motivation and resources to pursue swimming. Your opinion is also too brief to show clearly how you weigh the two views. Develop the reasons for both sides and state whether you favour a balance or one approach, supporting that position with a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs beginning “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. These signposts help readers identify the two perspectives. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the second body paragraph moves from independence to lack of confidence and then to a child who cannot access swimming, without making the connection to learning to occupy free time independently clear. Some linking is repetitive, as in “They have many supportive reasons to support this,” and the conclusion largely repeats the prompt rather than drawing the discussion together. Use topic sentences that directly express each view, then connect each example explicitly to its main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “group activities,” “competition,” “motivation,” and “career in sport.” However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts of the response difficult to interpret. For example, “keep busy their shelf” and “by their own shelf” do not express the intended idea naturally; “occupy themselves” would be clearer. “Supportive reasons to support this” is repetitive, while “such chores” is an unsuitable description of activities. Spelling errors such as “neccessary,” “enchorage,” and “participat” are also noticeable. Build a bank of accurate topic phrases and check spelling and collocations when revising.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and use basic structures to explain reasons and give examples, but the range is limited and errors occur frequently. For instance, “There are many people say” lacks a grammatical link between the subject and verb, and “one child will like to do swimming but he do not have” has problems with verb form and agreement. Other examples include “he aware” and “he has very good with running,” where the sentence structure is incomplete or inaccurate. Punctuation and capitalisation are also inconsistent, as in “programme. while others” and the comma before “Due to this.” Practise forming accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with clauses using “because,” “although,” and “which.”

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