Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Most of the people believed that Mother and Father should influnce their offsprings to indulge themselves in group activities rather than spending their time on their own. Both view has their purpose that will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs.

To begin with, Children who spend their leisure time in group activities will become more extrovert because they become confident to socialise in public. They will become comfortable to put their point of view in fornt of other people. In addition, working in a group will also develop the team work. If younsters have skill of team work, they cannot be defeated in any field of life because unity always have power to dominate the opponents. For Example, if cricket team have unity, it is inevitable to defeat them. Therefore, Parents encourage their children to involve their free time in groups.

Besides, Teenagers who devote time alone, they develop particular skills that could become their passion and can convert it to career. Because they have spare time to work efficiently without any kind of involvement of others. For Example, Kids are expert in painting, writing, singing, and more hobbies because they spend their free time on it. Moreover, solitude life will also teach young one that they can achieve anything in their life if they believe in themselves. Consequently, occuping alone time has their own benefits.

According to my point of view People should teach their kids about the advantage not only group activitity but also about solititude activitiy. Both of them have their own balance in one's life. As group teach them about team work and solitude teach them to develop new skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the discussion and give a clear overall view: children should learn from both group activities and time alone. The group-activity paragraph explains social confidence and teamwork, while the paragraph on solitude links independent time with developing interests that may become careers. These are relevant reasons, and the cricket example helps illustrate teamwork. However, some claims are broad or not fully explained—for instance, saying a united team “cannot be defeated” overstates the point, and the benefits of independent time could be supported with a more specific example. Your opinion appears mainly in the final paragraph; stating it more clearly in the introduction and developing how children can balance both activities would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a concluding opinion. Transitions such as “To begin with,” “Besides,” and “Consequently” help signal the stages of the discussion, and the ideas generally progress logically within each paragraph. This coherent structure is a strength. At times, however, linking feels mechanical, and some connections between claims need clearer explanation. For example, the move from teamwork to the claim that a team cannot be defeated is abrupt, while the final paragraph repeats the two benefits without showing how they fit together in practice. Use referencing more precisely and connect examples directly to the point they support to make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “extrovert,” “socialise,” “team work,” “passion,” and “solitude,” which allows you to discuss both perspectives. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “devote time alone.” However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “influnce,” “fornt,” “younsters,” and “occuping.” Some expressions are unnatural or imprecise: “involve their free time in groups” and “solitude life” do not convey the intended meaning naturally. Focus on accurate spelling and common collocations, and choose words that fit the context rather than relying on ambitious but awkward phrases. This would make your ideas easier to follow and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional example (“if cricket team have unity”) and a reason clause beginning “Because they have spare time.” The overall meaning is usually understandable, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “Both view has” needs plural agreement, and “Children who spend their leisure time … will become” is inconsistently capitalised after a sentence break. The sentence “Teenagers who devote time alone, they develop…” has an unnecessary repeated subject, while “if cricket team have unity” needs an article and more accurate agreement. Some sentence fragments and punctuation choices also interrupt the flow. Practise building complete clauses and checking agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries while retaining your attempts at complex structures.

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