Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is often argue that increasing number of people want children should be encouraged by parents to take part in different group activities in their spare time, while others believe that children should be responsible for their own better development. This essay will discuss both the perspectives; however, I firmly support the former viewpoint.

to commence with, the main argument in favour of parent's motivation is that parents are the first and best teachers for grown-ups, they follow their parents and gain better experience from them. Not only they gained experience but also lead to positive development. For instance, kids who have better childhood habits, instilled by their parents like hand washing and brushing teeth are better at developing good life routine and balance in their later life.

In augmentation to it, proponents of the other view believe that children can occupied themselves according to them. They argue that children can be more creative when they doing things according to their taste. This can result in self growth and independence. Needless to say, this thing leads to intrinsic motivation.

In my opinion, although both views have their own merits, I strongly believe that if parents guide their children to take part in extra curricular activities and make their role models, it would be positive development and the advantages of this thing are far more significant than the other people's statement.

In conclusion, both perspectives hold significance and should be carefully considered. However, I personally subscribe to view that former viewpoint offers long term benefits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument regarding parents as teachers focuses on hygiene habits like 'hand washing,' which is not directly relevant to the prompt's focus on 'organised group activities' versus 'independent play.' The discussion on independent play is also brief and lacks specific examples. To reach a higher band, you need to expand your arguments with more relevant, detailed explanations and concrete examples that directly address the benefits of group activities versus solitary time.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'to commence with,' 'in augmentation to it,' and 'in conclusion.' However, some of these transitions feel slightly unnatural or mechanical, such as 'in augmentation to it,' which is not standard academic phrasing. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the use of 'this thing' or 'according to them,' which makes the flow of ideas slightly disjointed. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic phrasing and some inaccurate collocations, such as 'increasing number of people want children should be encouraged' and 'make their role models.' There are also instances of word-choice errors, such as 'grown-ups' when referring to children. To improve, you should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and collocations that are appropriate for a formal essay, rather than relying on repetitive or slightly informal expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Examples include 'It is often argue' (should be 'argued'), 'when they doing things' (should be 'when they are doing'), and 'subscribe to view that former' (missing articles). These errors are persistent throughout the text. While you attempt complex structures, the control over them is inconsistent. Focusing on subject-verb agreement, correct verb forms, and the proper use of articles will significantly improve your score in this criterion.

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