Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, parenting has become a more hard for current parents due to busy life style. While, some assert that parents should motivate their childrens to become self dependent, other think that inspire childern to involve in group activites will be better for childern growth. This essay will explain both views before sharing my point of view.

On the one hand, when childerns involve in the group activite the will learn so many things such as team work, share and care, importance of unity and so on. Therefore, this skills assist them to become better and responsible citizen of nation. In addition, be a part of group childern can play many physical sports, which not only help them to stay physical fit but also reduce there screen time. Consequently, most of parents give priority to enroll their young once in sports clubs.

On the other hand, some parents believe that occupy themselves is good option because in teams individuals efforts are not counted, they do not want other will get the benefits of their childern hardwork. As a result, they motivate their childern to do that kind of sports or activites, they can do alone. Moreover, online gaming is growing market right now so by focusing on this instead of group tasks, they will get better results. Therefore, the trend of inspiring childern to self occupy increase rapidly.

In my opinion, while self occupace in online gaming give childern more growth and feel of being independent, in long run is will also give them health problem such as weak eyeside, obesity and so on, group tasks will be better choice for long run where they grow both physically and mentaily.

In conclusion, Undoubtedly self independent is also important for everyone but in younger life time childern have to focus on the things which help them to be better individual.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding online gaming as a form of 'self-occupation' is a bit narrow and lacks depth. While the position is clear, the supporting arguments could be more thoroughly extended to reach a higher band. The conclusion is a bit abrupt and does not fully synthesize the points made in the body paragraphs. Overall, the response is relevant and fulfills the requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'In addition', and 'Consequently' are used to link ideas, though some transitions feel a bit mechanical or repetitive. The progression of ideas is generally clear, although the connection between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother. Referencing is sometimes slightly unclear, such as the use of 'they' in the third paragraph, which could be more precisely linked to the intended subjects. Overall, the structure is coherent and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several instances of word-choice errors and non-standard collocations, such as 'more hard' instead of 'harder', 'self dependent' instead of 'independent', and 'younger life time' instead of 'childhood'. Spelling errors are also present, such as 'childerns', 'activite', and 'eyeside'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated vocabulary and the frequency of errors in word formation limit the score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('some assert... other think'), incorrect pluralization ('childerns'), and missing articles or prepositions. For example, 'in long run is will also give them' contains multiple errors. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable and detract from the overall quality of the writing. A greater focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would significantly improve the score.

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