Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

There are two different sides of the same coin. One is to encourage your child to take up organized group activities in their free time while the other is for them to learn on their own on how to occupy themselves.

On one hand, there are some people who believe that encouraging their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time is a great idea. Firstly, these activities helps in building their confidence and foster growth. Secondly, it will make them resilient because the more they will fail in executing the task the more they will want to try and succeed in their next attempt. Lastly, it helps in developing problem solving skill which is beneficial as it will help in dealing with the future problems while also improving verbal communication skills. For example, a child taking soccer as an activity tends to have much more confidence and problem solving skills because of the demand of the sport while also making one resilient as the fear of failure is overcome by the joy of success.

On the other hand, we have some people who believe that children should learn on their own on how to occupy themselves. Firstly, it will help children to learn on how to manage their time without comprising their studies. Secondly, it can be a learning experience for them if they take up an activity that they really enjoy which can also help in boosting their self confidence. For example, some children loves watching cooking shows, if they can develop a habit of learning how to cook it will not just boost their confidence but also give them a sense of self achievement.

In conclusion, I believe it should be a mix of both where parents should encourage their children to take up some sort of activity while also letting them learn on how else can they occupy themselves.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both perspectives and providing a clear personal opinion in the conclusion. The ideas are relevant and logically developed, such as the benefits of group activities for confidence and the value of independent time for time management. However, the development of these points is somewhat brief. To reach a higher band, you could provide more nuanced examples or deeper analysis of the long-term implications of these choices. The position is consistent throughout, and the structure is appropriate for an IELTS essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the use of transition signals like 'On one hand', 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion' helps guide the reader through your arguments. While the progression is clear, some of the cohesive devices are used in a slightly mechanical or repetitive way. To improve, try to vary your linking phrases and ensure that the transition between sentences feels more natural and less like a list of points.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'resilient', 'executing', and 'self-achievement' appropriately. There are some minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'taking soccer as an activity' (should be 'taking up soccer' or 'participating in soccer') and 'some children loves' (subject-verb agreement error). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. Expanding your repertoire of collocations and idiomatic expressions would enhance your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('these activities helps', 'some children loves') and preposition usage ('learn on how to'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic agreement rules and refining your use of complex sentence structures, such as relative clauses or conditional sentences, to ensure they are error-free.

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