Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is an on going debade regarding effective utilization of children's leisure time, there are divided opinions. A group of individuals have argued that guardians should motivate thir children to participate in organise group activities in their oetrel time; However, uther are counter claimed that it is more appropriate for children to understand how to engage themselves on their own. prior to my stance, Both the views should be discussed in enssuing paragraphs with valid reasons and appropriate examples.

Discussing the former view, supporters believe that children should be guided by thir purents for free time eactivities. due to have more social knowledge and experience they lead children effectively. as result the risk of misslead and time wasting are gradually decrease. youngsters are not ediquet responsible or mature to take better decision in regards of thir well beings. children are baf enfluenced eusyly by outlests it couse disapuntment and demotivate. for instanse many Juinors disobey the advise of thir mother and father consiquenty get regret and failure. so. parents advise is very essential for children's well-being.

However, proponents have their own opinion. To begin with, leisure activities are for specifically for relax and enjoyment so it should be specify by children themselves. Person can better understand their bilities and skills than others. it impooves thir decision making skill and well beings. Moreover, they'll become more responsible meture and self aware. Authority is the first condition to leirn something. parents should provide children's that freedom so they can enhanse thir decision making skill without affraid of making misteks. ultimalthy it is contribute to our centries growth in future.

To conchude, while children are guided by thir paranets for use of thir free time, it is reduces the misteks, chunces of misleeding and time wasteing; I firmly believe that if children making such decision by their own it is enhence children's perspective, knowladge and overall well-being so that they comtribute more to contry's growth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that parents provide guidance to avoid 'time wasting', the explanation lacks depth. Similarly, the argument for independent play is somewhat repetitive. To improve, ensure that each paragraph contains a specific, well-explained example rather than general statements. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments would benefit from more detailed elaboration to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. You use some cohesive devices like 'However', 'To begin with', and 'To conclude'. However, there are instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing or missing transitions. For example, the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph is abrupt. Additionally, some sentences are disjointed, making the progression of ideas feel mechanical at times. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next will enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

There is a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your ideas, but there are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'debade', 'thir', 'oetrel', 'ediquet', 'baf', 'enfluenced', 'leirn', 'enhanse', 'ultimalthy'). These errors are distracting and occasionally make it difficult to identify the intended word. While you attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'leisure time' and 'decision making', the lack of precision and the high frequency of spelling mistakes limit the score. Focus on proofreading your work to correct basic spelling and ensure word choices are accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'it is reduces the misteks'), incorrect word forms (e.g., 'parents advise is very essential'), and punctuation errors. These errors occur in almost every sentence and occasionally impede the reader's understanding. While you attempt complex structures, they are often faulty. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement before attempting more complex grammatical forms.

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