Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

A specific segment of the parents believes that their offspring should participate in group activities, while others argue that they should learn how to live alone. In my opinion, children need to prepare themselves for future which required to involve with a number people which I support at a major level and to be independent.

Building a responsible society is a daunting task, if not developed in the early age. Students can learn the skills of mutual understanding, to be co-operative and to be a great team member by engaging in the group activities. As a result, they will not find difficult to build relationship with new people. Moreover, a numbers of children have stage fear due to reason not having engaging childhood which lead to fearful future when comes to take a stand for themselves. A notable example was the survey results published by a renowned universities stated that seventy percent of early learners afraid to showcase their talent due to a low level of engagement in the class.

On the contrary, a child should acquire some paramount skills which assist to uplift a future life. Living independently is the skill that every parent wishes that their children consist of. It develop mental strength which protect them from unforeseen situation in the upcoming years. Furthermore, independency teaches essential skills of daily life such as cooking, earning for own self and understanding about other people's lives. An empirical evidence are immigrants who migrate from their motherland and start working on their careers with almost no support and succeed in later lives.

In conclusion, although skill of independent is one of the important skills to achieve, working in a team builds fearless community in a longer run.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the benefits of group activities are explained, the discussion on independent living is slightly underdeveloped and relies on a somewhat tenuous example regarding immigrants. The introduction is a bit vague, particularly the phrase 'live alone,' which does not quite capture the nuance of 'occupying oneself.' To reach a higher band, ensure that the arguments for both sides are balanced in depth and that the examples provided are more directly relevant to the prompt's focus on childhood development.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central theme. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover,' 'On the contrary,' and 'Furthermore' are used to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'which required to involve with a number people.' Additionally, some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The referencing is generally clear, but the progression of ideas within paragraphs could be smoother to ensure a more natural flow. Overall, the structure is sufficient to guide the reader through the argument without difficulty.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, though it lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward collocations or word choices, such as 'a specific segment of the parents,' 'stage fear,' and 'consist of' (when referring to skills). The phrase 'fearful future' is also slightly unnatural. While the student attempts to use some academic vocabulary, the control is inconsistent. To improve, focus on learning more natural collocations and using precise terminology rather than relying on general descriptors that do not always fit the context perfectly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding, such as 'future which required to involve with a number people' and 'a numbers of children have stage fear due to reason not having engaging childhood.' Subject-verb agreement and preposition usage are inconsistent throughout the text. While the meaning remains clear, the high frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence construction and proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would be highly beneficial.

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