Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Some people believe that parents should encourage their children to involve in organised group activities in their leisure time. Others believe that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. I strongly believe that parents should encourage children to participate in a different group activities in their free time to enhance their skills and abilities.
The main reason why parents should encourage children to participate in a activities is it broaden knowledge and skills. By involving them in multiple activities makes them smart, confident and well-rounded children. For instance, children with multiple skills have more chances to achieve a high grade jobs in a reputable companies. Another major reason is it provides clarity in their vision which enables them to take correct life decisions by achieving creativity and leadership skills for example, children with better self esteem are better at making successful life decisions in work and personal life.
In contrast, some people believe that children should learn how to occupy themselves on their own. This creates a limited growth in the individuals development which creates a barrier for the future progress. For instance, students who occupy themselves on their own can face difficulties when they move to other countries for work or study like adapting their environment or learning new language become a biggest barrier for their progress.
However, In my opinion children should invest in multiple activities such as learning new languages or new digital platforms which helps them in the future.
To conclude, Although children who occupy themselves on their own can face limited growth in the future. Furthermore, students with various skills can be beneficial to achieve a desired jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both views and provides a clear personal position. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the benefits of group activities are discussed, the counter-argument regarding independent play is underdeveloped and slightly confused in its reasoning. The conclusion is also problematic; it is a sentence fragment that fails to summarize the main points effectively. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph contains a clear topic sentence and that the conclusion provides a cohesive summary of the arguments presented rather than introducing new, disconnected thoughts.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is occasionally hindered by awkward transitions and sentence structure. For example, the use of 'Furthermore' in the conclusion is inappropriate as it does not follow from the previous sentence. Cohesive devices are used, but they are sometimes mechanical or misused, such as the repetitive use of 'For instance' and 'For example' to introduce points. Paragraphing is present, but the final paragraph is structurally weak and does not function as a proper conclusion. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, unified focus would improve the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their meaning. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'reputable companies' and 'well-rounded', which are used correctly. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'involve in' (should be 'get involved in'), 'a activities' (grammatical error), and 'high grade jobs' (should be 'high-level' or 'well-paid' jobs). To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring that nouns and articles are used accurately in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there is a high frequency of grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'it broaden knowledge'), article misuse, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'adapting their environment... become a biggest barrier'). While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of control over complex structures limits the score. To progress, the student should focus on basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that verbs agree with their subjects and that articles are used consistently before countable nouns.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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