Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this contemporary era, it is rising issue in society, how children should spend their free time either parents should encourage them to participate in organized group activities or let the children learn how to occupy their time by their own. Both have its own significance which will explain in following paragraphs and that will lead to a logical conclusion.

On the one hand, it is really important for parents to encourage their children to take part in organized group activities to stay them away from excessive screentime. Moreover, group activities help children to learn important skills such as discipline, teamwork as well as to improve their communication skill. For instance, if children participate in group activities than they will learn important skills and they will be become more socialize and that can reduce social anxiety and screentime as well as they can make real friends rather than online friends. Therefore, it is good idea that parents should encourage children to take part in group activities.

On the other hand, it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own because it helps them to become independent and to learn time management skill. If children know how to spend their free time by their own, they do need to depend on anyone else to make a schedule for them to occupy their leisure time because they can do their things according to their preference. Furthermore, it will help them to become confident person that can tackle challenging situations by their own instead of looking for help from someone else. As a consequence, parents should let their children to occupy themselves on their own.

I opine that although children learn many things by their own, parents should help t

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the essay is incomplete, as it cuts off abruptly in the final paragraph. While the main body paragraphs offer relevant points regarding social skills and independence, the lack of a proper conclusion and the unfinished final sentence significantly impact the development of the response. To reach a higher band, you must ensure that all parts of the prompt are fully addressed and that the essay is brought to a logical, complete conclusion. The ideas presented are relevant, but the abrupt ending prevents a full exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay uses basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' to link ideas. Paragraphing is present, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the progression of ideas is interrupted by the incomplete final paragraph. The use of referencing is sometimes mechanical, and the flow is hindered by the sudden termination of the text. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next, leading to a cohesive final summary.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing for clear communication of ideas. You use some relevant topic-specific terms like 'organized group activities', 'social anxiety', and 'time management'. However, there are some repetitive phrases and minor collocation errors, such as 'it is rising issue' (should be 'a rising issue') and 'become more socialize' (should be 'become more socialized'). To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions, and pay closer attention to word forms and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors throughout, such as 'Both have its own significance' (should be 'their own'), 'than they will learn' (should be 'then'), and 'let their children to occupy' (should be 'let their children occupy'). These errors are frequent but do not usually impede communication. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and the accurate construction of complex sentences. Proofreading for these common errors would significantly enhance your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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