Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Childhood is an imperative stage of learning in life. Thus, few people believe that a child should be occupied in team activities. However, others argue that child should be involved in an individual activity.

I will discuss both views along with an opinion in the forthcoming paragraphs.

On one hand, Team activities plays cardinal role due to following reasons. Firstly, during childhood stage children observe and learn from other while observing them. So, if you restrict them from socializing in group activities, it will reduce the learning skills of that child. Furthermore, it will leads to pressing problem of obesity and mobile gaming as they are not engaging with their friends. For example, a recent survey shows in news that 65% of children are suffering from obesity in school due to lack of physical group activities. Group activities also impact the communication and social skills which are core skills in their future careers. Thus, above are the merits of group activities.

However, on other hand few people also contradict that individual activity is also important due to below causes. First, children can learn core skills such as self reliance at young age. For instance, children should join individual swimming activity where they can enjoy solitude and learn to be independent. Moreover, small things from above will help them to boost their confidence. Then, they will feel vigorous and motivated.

To conclude, from above points I can say that merits of group activities overweigh the merits of individual. Thus, I believe that there should be more team activities in school as compared to individual activities which will help children from problem likes obesity, mobile addiction, depression and lot more.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both views and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention obesity and social skills for group activities, the explanation remains superficial. Similarly, the argument for individual activities is brief and lacks depth. To improve, you should expand on your examples; for instance, instead of just mentioning swimming, explain how the process of mastering a solo sport specifically builds resilience or problem-solving skills. The conclusion is clear, but the overall argument would benefit from more nuanced analysis rather than relying on general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use cohesive devices such as 'On one hand', 'Furthermore', and 'To conclude' to link your points. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly repetitive, such as 'due to following reasons' and 'due to below causes'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear; for example, 'small things from above' is vague and does not effectively link back to the previous paragraph. Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring that references are precise will help the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. You use some good phrases like 'cardinal role' and 'self-reliance', but there are also instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'problem likes obesity' (should be 'problems like') and 'merits of group activities overweigh' (should be 'outweigh'). The repetition of basic words like 'activities' and 'skills' suggests a limited range. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms and ensure that your collocations are natural and accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('Team activities plays', 'it will leads to') and missing articles ('child should be involved', 'on other hand'). While these errors do not prevent the message from being understood, they occur consistently throughout the text. To reach a higher band, focus on proofreading for basic errors like pluralization and article usage, and aim to use a wider variety of complex sentence structures with greater accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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