Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people suggest that parents should support their kids to take part in an organized group activities in their leisure time. Others expressed that, it is essential for kids to learn how to engage themselves on their own. While it is a good idea for children to participate in an organized group activities, it is also important to allow them choose what to do in their free time.

Unarguably, it is good for children to take part in an organized group activities, because it will avail the parents the opportunity to monitor and decide if the activity is beneficial to to the mental and physical health of the child. A close observation is also pay by the parent, weather the child will make a career from that. And the possible ways of harnessing the discovered talent.

On the other hand, it is obvious at this point that the child should not be forced to engage in an activity that he/she does not enjoy. this will definitely limit his potential and might make him to choose a wrong career.

I will personally recommend that kids should be allowed to choose what makes them happy. For instance, my mother never allowed me to play football with my peers, with the reason that I will be injured which affected my football paying skills

In conclusion, it is advisable that, while parents monitor their kids on the type of activity he engages him or herself, it is worthy to note that the child should be given a free hand to develop and choose what type of game to play.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding parents monitoring activities is brief and lacks depth. The example provided about the mother and football is personal but does not fully illustrate the broader benefits of independent play versus group activities. To improve, you should expand on the 'why' and 'how' of your points, ensuring that each paragraph provides a more thorough explanation of the implications for child development. The conclusion is a bit repetitive and could more effectively synthesize the main points discussed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate. For example, the transition 'On the other hand, it is obvious at this point' feels slightly forced. Additionally, some sentences lack clear logical links, such as the transition between the benefits of monitoring and the discussion of career choices. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally from the previous one will help achieve a higher band score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, but there are instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors. For example, 'avail the parents the opportunity' is not a standard collocation, and 'pay by the parent' is grammatically incorrect. You attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'harnessing the discovered talent,' which is good, but overall, the range is limited. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring that words are used in their correct context to express your ideas more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede readability. Notable issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'A close observation is also pay by the parent') and incorrect article usage (e.g., 'an organized group activities'). There are also punctuation errors, such as the unnecessary comma after 'expressed that'. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical consistency will be highly beneficial.

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