Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In this modern era, it is quintessential for the youngsters to make best use of their leisure time. Some individuals consider that folks should motivate their kids to be part of organized group events while, others believe that children should have the freedom to choose their hobbies. In this essay, we will discuss both views before explaining why I side with the former view.

It is quite evident that parents play vital role in their children's life. They are considered to be first teachers for every individual because a child start exploring the whole world under their guidance and learn to act in different scenarios by imitating their actions. Therefore, folks consider that it is their duty to guide their children to right path. In this technological era, youngsters like to spend most of their time scrolling internet which in turn, limit the real face to face interactions. As a result, they become introverts and it hinders their overall development too. Thus, by encouraging them to take part in social activities, parents can ensure that the social skills of their minors get developed and they will learn sportsmanship, team-work and problem solving skills, while being part of organized group events. Apart from this, when youngsters make friends online, the risks of felonies also surge to a great extent. In brief, parents cannot keep an eye on their social circle if most of their friends are online therefore, cyber criminals can alure them to perform dangerous tasks. Consequently, it poses a great risk to their life.

On the other hand, these days, children like to learn things themselves. Excessive interference from parents in their life choices can make youngsters rebellious and irritative. Thus, they will start distancing themselves from their parents. Therefore, they should have the independence to choose which activities they want to perform in their free time. Moreover, the freedom to use their leisure time for their favourite activities will boost their confidence and they will be relieved from stress and sometimes, their hobbies can turn into their passion in near future ensuring success in their life. These are the reason, why I also hold the opinion that children should be allowed to explore themselves and choose their hobbies.

In conclusion, although parents can guide their children to get involved in social events, children should not be entirely controlled and they should have some degree of freedom to choose the activities of their interest.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant and generally well-developed, particularly the arguments regarding social skills and the risks of online interaction. However, the conclusion contradicts the introduction; the introduction states a preference for organized group activities, while the conclusion and the third paragraph suggest a more balanced approach or a preference for individual choice. This inconsistency weakens the clarity of your position. To reach a higher band, ensure your thesis statement in the introduction aligns perfectly with your final stance to maintain a consistent argument throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate the two viewpoints. You make good use of cohesive devices such as 'Apart from this', 'Consequently', and 'On the other hand' to link your arguments. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as the use of 'folks' and 'minors', which can sound unnatural in an academic or formal context. The flow between sentences is generally smooth, but ensuring that each paragraph focuses strictly on one main idea will further improve the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including some less common items like 'quintessential', 'felonies', and 'alure'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and informal register. For example, 'folks' is too informal for this task, and 'irritative' is not the standard adjective form (the correct term is 'irritable'). Additionally, 'alure' is misspelled (should be 'allure'). While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, you need to refine your word choices to ensure they are consistently appropriate for a formal essay and avoid minor spelling errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is a positive feature. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Common issues include missing articles (e.g., 'play vital role' should be 'play a vital role', 'start exploring' should be 'starts exploring') and subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'child start' should be 'child starts'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic articles and subject-verb agreement will significantly improve your accuracy.

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