Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Parents are in a constant battle of mind to choose between arranging group activities or independent time for their children's leisure time. It is like a double-edged sword and this essay will share both sides of the coin so the parents can choose wisely.

Firstly, it is important to organize and join group activities for the kids as it boosts confidence. Confidence is the key to everything in life. Secondly, all developed countries have one common thing, they arrange a lot of social activities whether at day care for kids or at social halls for adults. Children begin communicating with peers from varied cultural backgrounds at early stages, this inculcates tolerance, acceptance and wisdom. By playing hide and seek, painting, baking and eating together, humans connect and develop bonds that are deeper. These group activities result towards the betterment of the society as their health, personal and professional lives flourish.

On the other hand, relying on one self is also tremendously important in today's world. In today's busy world, you never know for how long someone may walk with. So it is crucial to be independent and enjoy your own company. When children are occupied by themselves, they deduce judgment and shame from their life. It brings solace to their lives. They can take their own decisions at various stages of life without owing to anybody. Hobbies are a great way to keep yourself occupied.

To conclude, self-awareness is as important as social awareness. Both are crucial for growth of children and finding a balance between both times will nurture the children to become responsible and skilled members of the society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the claim that group activities result in the 'betterment of the society' is stated but not sufficiently explained or linked to the child's development. Similarly, the section on independent time mentions 'deduce judgment and shame' without clearly explaining how solitude helps a child avoid these. To reach a higher band, you should provide more concrete examples or logical steps to support your assertions rather than relying on general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'It is like a double-edged sword' to introduce the topic. Additionally, the referencing within sentences is occasionally unclear, such as the phrase 'you never know for how long someone may walk with', which lacks a clear antecedent and disrupts the flow of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary, including some good collocations like 'inculcates tolerance' and 'self-awareness'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice that affect the clarity of your message. For example, 'deduce judgment and shame' is not the correct usage of 'deduce' in this context, and 'without owing to anybody' is an awkward phrasing. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'relying on one self' (should be 'oneself') and 'without owing to anybody' (which is grammatically incomplete). The sentence 'In today's busy world, you never know for how long someone may walk with' is also structurally problematic. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, they are frequent enough to limit the score to a 6.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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