Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Several people support the view that parents should encourage their children to engage in planned group activities whenever they are free while others argue that it is essential for kids to develop the habit of keeping themselves engaged personally. While it is important for children to participate in organized activities involving multiple peers because it helps develop positive behavioral characteristics such as socialization and group cooperation, the relevance of children developing the habit of keeping themselves occupied on their own cannot be overlooked as it contributes to development of self growth as well as independent mindset when addressing challenges which I think is a good idea.

First and foremost, good socialization skills is one of the major behavioral characteristics acquired by children who participate in group activities. When the younger generation meet with colleagues in groups for organized activities, they find it easier to relate among each other by understanding how other people behave and how they can tolerate one another. They even tend to gain experience on how to manage crisis among peers as well as knowing how to deal with people from different background and races. Recent statistics shows that children who have little or no record of street violence and anger issues developed this as a result of tolerance and patience derived from group extracurricular activities organized in schools. Therefore, positive behavioral patterns in children are derived from experience gained through group activities during free time.

However, self-reliance and independent mindset in children are behavior derived from the ability to engage themselves personally. When children learn the habit of keeping themselves busy, it fosters a quick self development in multiple areas of their lives, mentally and physically as well as high level of intelligence because they meditate and figure out things without the interference of third parties. In my own opinion, i think this is better because children do not need to depend on people or peers before making decisions, and their personal development should not be subjected to other colleagues.

In conclusion, despite the benefits of encouraging children to participate in group activities such as cooperation and good relationship development, I think encouraging children to learn how to engage themselves on their own is very important because it makes them independent and improves their intelligence.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and clearly states an opinion in the introduction and conclusion. The ideas are relevant, such as socialization for group activities and self-reliance for independent play. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat repetitive. For instance, the second paragraph focuses heavily on socialization, but the explanation of 'crisis management' is a bit vague. The third paragraph argues for independent play but relies on general assertions rather than concrete examples. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific, illustrative examples to support your claims, such as mentioning how specific hobbies or solitary activities foster creativity or problem-solving skills.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two viewpoints. Cohesive devices such as 'First and foremost', 'However', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader through the argument. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the referencing within sentences could be smoother. For example, the phrase 'developed this as a result of' is a bit ambiguous in its reference to the previous sentence. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear, and the structure supports the reader's understanding of your position.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'socialization', 'extracurricular', 'self-reliance', and 'interference'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'keeping themselves engaged personally' (better: 'keeping themselves occupied') and 'manage crisis among peers' (better: 'manage conflicts among peers'). While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, some phrases feel slightly unnatural. To improve, focus on learning collocations—words that naturally go together—rather than just individual synonyms. Your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly throughout the essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'good socialization skills is' (should be 'are'), 'meet with colleagues' (in this context, 'peers' is more appropriate), and 'Recent statistics shows' (should be 'show'). Additionally, there are minor punctuation and capitalization issues, such as the lowercase 'i' in the third paragraph. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. You should focus on subject-verb agreement and proofreading for minor slips to ensure your complex sentences remain accurate.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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