Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contemporary times, one of the pressing issues faced by the society is that several people believe that it is pivotal for their children to get indulged into extra-curricular group activities in their leisure time like learning different sports at a young age while others say that children should be more inclined towards enhancing their knowledge by enrolling into numerous courses allowing them to have more employment opportunities for a better future prospects. From my perspective, to have a crucial to have a balance of both during a rearing of a kid.

To commence with, nowadays, children are occupied with immense amount of studies during their academics. To break the monotony, it is utmost essential for a pupil to acquire and enroll into multiple sport activities like swimming, dancing, karate, boxing and many more which would be helpful in stimulating their mindset, curb the stress of enormous studies by making them proactive and optimistic in life. To exemplify better, Vaibhav Sooryavanshi, one the phenomenal example in the cricket industry who have performed spectacularly at the age of 15 during the IPL event, 2026.

On the contrary, with the rise in inflation and fast-paces lifestyle it is crucial to have knowledge of various domains, which can lead to tremendous opportunities along with financial stability. Thus, parents wants their child to attain operational skills and vocational training in their free time which would be helpful to an individual in mere future. For instance, there are plenty of courses which are in vogue these days such as python, Java, Claude AI which can enhance creativity, encouragement and motivation in a child by boosting their performance level.

To recapitulate, in modern times, there is no doubt for a child to have theoretical and practical knowledge during their primary and secondary education. However, it is essential to be involved into organized group activities otherwise it will deteriorate their individuality in developing time when compared to others.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion in the introduction. However, the task response is slightly compromised by a misunderstanding of the prompt. The second view in the prompt is about children learning to 'occupy themselves on their own' (independent play/self-reliance), but you interpreted this as 'enrolling in courses for employment'. This shift in focus means you did not fully address the specific topic provided. While your ideas are relevant to the general theme of child development, they do not directly engage with the concept of independent leisure time. To improve, ensure you carefully analyze the specific wording of the prompt before drafting your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'To commence with', 'On the contrary', and 'To recapitulate', to signal transitions. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and some mechanical transitions. For instance, the final paragraph introduces a conclusion that feels slightly disconnected from the preceding body paragraphs, as it shifts focus to 'theoretical and practical knowledge' rather than summarizing the two views discussed. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that the conclusion directly synthesizes the main points would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary, attempting to use more sophisticated terms like 'contemporary', 'pivotal', 'monotony', and 'vocational'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and unnatural collocations, such as 'get indulged into', 'mere future', and 'in vogue these days'. Some phrases are slightly repetitive or misused, which limits the precision of your expression. To reach a higher band, focus on using collocations more accurately and ensuring that your vocabulary choices are contextually appropriate rather than just using complex-sounding words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('parents wants', 'one the phenomenal example... who have performed') and awkward phrasing ('to have a crucial to have a balance'). Punctuation is generally functional, but some sentences are overly long or lack clarity due to grammatical slips. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly improve your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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